BOY!
I forgot to mention, we're having another little guy! Our ultrasound showed a healthy-looking and active baby. We're thankful and excited. Charlotte is still in denial that we're not having a "bebe gurl," but Parker is overjoyed that "he was right!"
I'm now in my 21st week of pregnancy and my morning sickness seems to be mostly gone! I injured my back a couple weeks ago and was having a lot of cramps and back pain, but Baby is fine and we're doing better now. Never a dull moment!
Now to decide on his name, gather baby things, and spend the next months getting steadily bigger and rounder and waddle-eyer! ;)
Charlotte's Picture
Charley Beth loves cows- visiting them or on her plate!
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Parker Starts "Intro"
I am writing to ask for prayers and wisdom for us as we try to help Parker. He started the Intro diet about 10 days ago. This means he is starting at the basics just like Charlotte- broths, meats, veggies. You gradually add in things over time.
Our reasoning behind doing something this drastic with him is that push came to shove. For those of you who know him, you know that Parker is an incredibly smart, creative, and loving child. But he is also close-minded when it comes to trying new things; he knows what he wants and there is little flexibility for other options. I don't want to say bad things about him, because there isn't anyone besides the good Lord and CJ who love him like I do... but I will say he is an incredibly challenging and demanding child.
We have struggled immensely with behavior and attitude issues. It is hard to determine what is "typical" 4 year-old boy behavior, what is willful sin, what is beyond his control, and what is a result of our circumstances. We've seen what a drastic benefit in cutting out sugars and grains- I really suspect diet may be playing a role in this.
To say things have been stressful is about the understatement of the year. I have never been this stressed. Trying to manage Charlotte's diet and symptoms, being pregnant and sick, and dealing with Parker's ups and downs, has been all-consuming. I need to do something to work towards more peace in our household. And if GAPS is the way to do that, I have nothing else to lose (okay, maybe just my sanity)!
And maybe GAPS is not the answer. But at least we will be able to figure that out. At the least it can only help since it's a diet of nourishing, clean foods, albeit limiting in the beginning. Plus, GAPS is supposed to help heal allergies, such as Parker's egg and dairy sensitivities. Maybe he will grow so that he's actually on the growth charts!
The beginning of the diet is so intense because it "starves" your body for all the foods it's used to getting- for Parker the things we omitted were starches and sugars found in bananas and sprouted grain bread, and the harder-to-digest nut butters. This means your body can go through a stage of "detox." This sounds wacky, but it's real (I've experienced it and it's not fun at all). Anything good that you add into your body goes to battle against the "bad guys" of the gut. As the bad guys die off, you get uncomfortable symptoms. For Parker this has included some intense vomiting, lethargy, wetting the bed at night, and erratic behavior. The body is trying to flush the toxins out any way it can. It's hard to feel good about doing the diet when you see your child like this.
We have been reassured it's all a normal part of the process, and is a sign that healing is taking place. However, we've been told to buckle up our seat-belts, because it can be a very shaky ride for the first month or more. The rule is that things get worse (sometimes much worse) before they get better. But there is the hope that they will get better.
We plan on seeking help because already we are already overwhelmed and are not sure quite how to best help Parker. Before we started the diet he was constantly scratching at his face and his cheeks were red and rashy. (Another clue that something he's been eating may be triggering behaviors or unrest in his body.)
A few days ago I was eating an orange and Parker was curious. He wanted to smell it. Then lick it. I asked him if he wanted to taste it. Even though he didn't, he agreed to let me juice it and he willingly drank the juice. Since then he's actually EATEN some oranges. This is a MAJOR deal. He is never, ever, interested in trying new foods. For him not to freak out about the texture and to be asking for more really impressed us. Going through the Intro diet is supposed to help "reboot" the taste buds, causing the kids to be more accepting of new tastes. This seemed like a great sign to us- even though oranges are a very advanced food and not technically allowed on the beginning of the diet, we rejoiced in the victory, rather than worrying about proceeding through the diet perfectly.
But then Parker woke up again vomiting today. He was moving his tongue around weirdly in his mouth and said it was scratchy. His cheeks were blotchy and pink. I gave him some Benadryl, worrying that he was having an allergic reaction.
Since this didn't happen the first time few times he ate oranges, I'm not sure if he has a real allergy to oranges. It seems more like this is a histamine intolerance. We deal with this to some degree with Charlotte. When you consume a lot of high histamine foods (to include oranges), your "bucket" fills up. When it's full, you get symptoms. A histamine issue is a big deal on GAPS. It means a lot more work and a lot longer generally for healing. I am groaning over here. A histamine issue is a monster.
We really need to consult some experts to figure out how to proceed. We have been asking for recommendations on the facebook group for a practitioner who specializes in working with kids like Parker. Hopefully we will find one soon and be able to speak with them. We also want to have some allergy testing and bloodwork done to determine if his vitamin/mineral levels are healthy, etc. We need to establish some sort of baseline and get some professionals on board to help us.
I hesitated about sharing all this because it's really hard to explain. I feel like people who know and love Parker either think he's A) normal, and his parents make mountains out of molehills B) a bit high strung but surely he'll grow out of it C) he's plain naughty, and this must be the result of some parenting flaw D) he's out of control E) what are you talking about? This child is brilliant.
It's hard to explain the weight of the stress level we have right now. What do you do all day? Why don't you call me back? How come you never come visit?
My days lately consist of bouncing from one tantrum to the next meltdown, spending hours in the kitchen trying to make healthy foods which my children reject, cry, whine, complain over, and eventually take 2.5 hours to eat. Planning to leave the house means cooking and packing enough food for them both. When we do leave the house, we often have to leave where we've gone due to some sort of meltdown. This is embarrassing and exhausting. They spend lots of time in detox baths to calm them down. In between I do the normal chores and enjoy the "ups" of the day- reading lots of books, doing crafts, playing, and trying to spend as much time doing positive things with the kids and enjoying the giggles and games.
When I'm through with all this, I'm exhausted. There isn't much left for anyone or anything else. It is physically and emotionally draining. I feel guilty about this, but I know my energies right now need to be focused on the health and healing of our family. But it's hard to explain this. It's easier to shrug it off and pretend it's not that big a deal. But really, it is. I think it's important for me to be honest about it so that it might help some to understand. After all, isn't this the point of our blog?
I really wonder sometimes why we struggle with such basic things as food, when I see kids around me slurping up sugary drinks laced with red-40 and eating mac & cheese. We simply aren't like that. For some reason, my children cannot do that. I've been forced to read and research, and to a certain extent, turn into a hippie health freak for the sake of our family's health. Maybe sometimes I take things too far. But it's hard to be laid back when you have the responsibility of knowing the facts. So just a request- if you aren't walking in our shoes, please try not to judge us as total wackos, and try to understand we're just trying to help our kids.
This totally depresses me that our life is so "heavy" right now. I yearn for peace, lightness, and the joy that seems to be zapped so often lately. I hope this post doesn't depress you, too! We need to get to a better place. How I love to be positive and let things go, laugh off the stressful times, and all that good stuff. But sometimes life is really HARD. But after the valleys and uphill climb there is always the refreshing and rejuvenating view of the mountaintop, right?
Above all, we need God to intervene. We desperately need His wisdom and guidance. We need the patience He gives, and the grace when we fail. I can't be responsible for "fixing" these kids or all our problems. It's way too much pressure and it's impossible. So I ask you to join me in petitioning God to do the work we cannot do. As always, we thank you for listening and loving us through this.
Our reasoning behind doing something this drastic with him is that push came to shove. For those of you who know him, you know that Parker is an incredibly smart, creative, and loving child. But he is also close-minded when it comes to trying new things; he knows what he wants and there is little flexibility for other options. I don't want to say bad things about him, because there isn't anyone besides the good Lord and CJ who love him like I do... but I will say he is an incredibly challenging and demanding child.
We have struggled immensely with behavior and attitude issues. It is hard to determine what is "typical" 4 year-old boy behavior, what is willful sin, what is beyond his control, and what is a result of our circumstances. We've seen what a drastic benefit in cutting out sugars and grains- I really suspect diet may be playing a role in this.
To say things have been stressful is about the understatement of the year. I have never been this stressed. Trying to manage Charlotte's diet and symptoms, being pregnant and sick, and dealing with Parker's ups and downs, has been all-consuming. I need to do something to work towards more peace in our household. And if GAPS is the way to do that, I have nothing else to lose (okay, maybe just my sanity)!
And maybe GAPS is not the answer. But at least we will be able to figure that out. At the least it can only help since it's a diet of nourishing, clean foods, albeit limiting in the beginning. Plus, GAPS is supposed to help heal allergies, such as Parker's egg and dairy sensitivities. Maybe he will grow so that he's actually on the growth charts!
The beginning of the diet is so intense because it "starves" your body for all the foods it's used to getting- for Parker the things we omitted were starches and sugars found in bananas and sprouted grain bread, and the harder-to-digest nut butters. This means your body can go through a stage of "detox." This sounds wacky, but it's real (I've experienced it and it's not fun at all). Anything good that you add into your body goes to battle against the "bad guys" of the gut. As the bad guys die off, you get uncomfortable symptoms. For Parker this has included some intense vomiting, lethargy, wetting the bed at night, and erratic behavior. The body is trying to flush the toxins out any way it can. It's hard to feel good about doing the diet when you see your child like this.
We have been reassured it's all a normal part of the process, and is a sign that healing is taking place. However, we've been told to buckle up our seat-belts, because it can be a very shaky ride for the first month or more. The rule is that things get worse (sometimes much worse) before they get better. But there is the hope that they will get better.
We plan on seeking help because already we are already overwhelmed and are not sure quite how to best help Parker. Before we started the diet he was constantly scratching at his face and his cheeks were red and rashy. (Another clue that something he's been eating may be triggering behaviors or unrest in his body.)
A few days ago I was eating an orange and Parker was curious. He wanted to smell it. Then lick it. I asked him if he wanted to taste it. Even though he didn't, he agreed to let me juice it and he willingly drank the juice. Since then he's actually EATEN some oranges. This is a MAJOR deal. He is never, ever, interested in trying new foods. For him not to freak out about the texture and to be asking for more really impressed us. Going through the Intro diet is supposed to help "reboot" the taste buds, causing the kids to be more accepting of new tastes. This seemed like a great sign to us- even though oranges are a very advanced food and not technically allowed on the beginning of the diet, we rejoiced in the victory, rather than worrying about proceeding through the diet perfectly.
But then Parker woke up again vomiting today. He was moving his tongue around weirdly in his mouth and said it was scratchy. His cheeks were blotchy and pink. I gave him some Benadryl, worrying that he was having an allergic reaction.
Since this didn't happen the first time few times he ate oranges, I'm not sure if he has a real allergy to oranges. It seems more like this is a histamine intolerance. We deal with this to some degree with Charlotte. When you consume a lot of high histamine foods (to include oranges), your "bucket" fills up. When it's full, you get symptoms. A histamine issue is a big deal on GAPS. It means a lot more work and a lot longer generally for healing. I am groaning over here. A histamine issue is a monster.
We really need to consult some experts to figure out how to proceed. We have been asking for recommendations on the facebook group for a practitioner who specializes in working with kids like Parker. Hopefully we will find one soon and be able to speak with them. We also want to have some allergy testing and bloodwork done to determine if his vitamin/mineral levels are healthy, etc. We need to establish some sort of baseline and get some professionals on board to help us.
I hesitated about sharing all this because it's really hard to explain. I feel like people who know and love Parker either think he's A) normal, and his parents make mountains out of molehills B) a bit high strung but surely he'll grow out of it C) he's plain naughty, and this must be the result of some parenting flaw D) he's out of control E) what are you talking about? This child is brilliant.
It's hard to explain the weight of the stress level we have right now. What do you do all day? Why don't you call me back? How come you never come visit?
My days lately consist of bouncing from one tantrum to the next meltdown, spending hours in the kitchen trying to make healthy foods which my children reject, cry, whine, complain over, and eventually take 2.5 hours to eat. Planning to leave the house means cooking and packing enough food for them both. When we do leave the house, we often have to leave where we've gone due to some sort of meltdown. This is embarrassing and exhausting. They spend lots of time in detox baths to calm them down. In between I do the normal chores and enjoy the "ups" of the day- reading lots of books, doing crafts, playing, and trying to spend as much time doing positive things with the kids and enjoying the giggles and games.
When I'm through with all this, I'm exhausted. There isn't much left for anyone or anything else. It is physically and emotionally draining. I feel guilty about this, but I know my energies right now need to be focused on the health and healing of our family. But it's hard to explain this. It's easier to shrug it off and pretend it's not that big a deal. But really, it is. I think it's important for me to be honest about it so that it might help some to understand. After all, isn't this the point of our blog?
I really wonder sometimes why we struggle with such basic things as food, when I see kids around me slurping up sugary drinks laced with red-40 and eating mac & cheese. We simply aren't like that. For some reason, my children cannot do that. I've been forced to read and research, and to a certain extent, turn into a hippie health freak for the sake of our family's health. Maybe sometimes I take things too far. But it's hard to be laid back when you have the responsibility of knowing the facts. So just a request- if you aren't walking in our shoes, please try not to judge us as total wackos, and try to understand we're just trying to help our kids.
This totally depresses me that our life is so "heavy" right now. I yearn for peace, lightness, and the joy that seems to be zapped so often lately. I hope this post doesn't depress you, too! We need to get to a better place. How I love to be positive and let things go, laugh off the stressful times, and all that good stuff. But sometimes life is really HARD. But after the valleys and uphill climb there is always the refreshing and rejuvenating view of the mountaintop, right?
Above all, we need God to intervene. We desperately need His wisdom and guidance. We need the patience He gives, and the grace when we fail. I can't be responsible for "fixing" these kids or all our problems. It's way too much pressure and it's impossible. So I ask you to join me in petitioning God to do the work we cannot do. As always, we thank you for listening and loving us through this.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
God Provides in Funny Ways
It's a cold winter afternoon in Maine. I am sitting on the couch, admiring our pretty Christmas tree, with 90% of its ornaments on the bottom branches, and listening to the not-napping chattering of Charlotte upstairs in her crib. CJ is at drill this weekend in Massachusetts, and I'm sure Parker is keeping his Grampa and Grammie J busy this afternoon. My master plan was to also take a nap, but that doesn't look like it's in the cards today. So I might as well update the blog a bit.
Charlotte's health has been up and down. I'm trying to figure out what she's been reacting to lately- she hasn't been herself (grumpy, not sleeping well, fussy) and she's been having diarrhea a lot. I pulled all her veggies to see what might be the culprit. So she's eating just her broth, venison, turkey, beef, and sweet potato at the moment.
I'm trying to focus more on Parker's health and we're working on getting him to eat more things. He is very stubborn and unwilling to try new foods. We borrowed a mini blender from my mom and for some reason he's happier to eat his soups in puree form. Yum. So I've been able to hide a good amount of meats, lentils, and veggies that way.
I'm 19 weeks along with Baby3! My ultrasound is tomorrow so we're all excited to "go see the baby on TV." My morning sickness seemed to taper off, but it's been back with a vengeance this weekend, so... I'll just take each day as it comes. I'm still eating GAPS foods, with sourdough bread, and sometimes sprouted grains. Hopefully this will help Baby to be as healthy as possible. Good thing ultimately God's in control and not me. Some days all I can manage is some toast and peanut butter!
I went out hunting with my brother every chance I got trying to get Charlotte a deer for our freezer. Despite my diligence, I didn't see a buck. My big belly was making it harder to waddle in the deep snow towards the end and I sat out there freezing a couple days. My friend Lori specifically asked her church for prayers that I'd be able to get a deer. Well...
Right before rifle season came to a close, we had to put our van into the garage. So early the next morning we all piled into the car to drive CJ to work. There we were, cruising down 111 on our way to Biddeford going 55 mph. Suddenly a huge buck ran right in front of us. CJ swerved into the other lane (thank God there was no one there, especially since we were at the top of a hill), but we couldn't avoid the collision. None of us were hurt, but the deer was not so fortunate!
While we waited for the warden to arrive, we checked out the car. The hood was smashed, and a headlight, but the bumper was still intact. The car was smoking and smelling a bit, but honestly, we thought maybe we had only injured the deer and that it probably just took off. CJ went out into the woods and ventured up the road a bit. The deer had ran up into a nearby dirt driveway and died right there. It did not suffer long, and we didn't even have to pull it out of the woods! This wasn't just a little deer- this was a 220 pound buck with a 7 point, 24-inch rack!
The state police came and asked if we wanted it. Um, yes! My brother came with his truck to clean it out for us and take it back to his house to hang. Gary came to bring CJ to work and followed us home to make sure we were alright in the car. Unfortunately we didn't have the insurance on the car to cover the damage since it's an old car and not worth very much. We're not sure how/if we can fix it, so for now we're down to just the van (which also needs major work). So we might have two bum vehicles, but we have meat in our freezer for Charlotte!
Then! Then we got a call that a hunter in our friends' hunting club had some meat to donate. When we opened up the cooler we discovered that almost an entire deer was there! I'm standing there in the kitchen suddenly wondering where we're going to put this meat (since the beef we ordered arrived and was stocked in our freezer), when I hear my phone beeping that I have a text message from CJ. God had that covered, too! "I think I found us another freezer." A woman CJ works with had a big chest freezer she wanted to get rid of, and she even delivered it to us!
I cut the deer up myself with Kevin's help in our kitchen! (Charlotte, when you're old, please never say I never did anything for you!) Hardly any meat was spoiled from the one we hit! We worked about 9 hours butchering and then had to call it a night. What a lot of work! Good thing Kevin brought my niece Bailey who was a huge help taking care of the kids! My brother even graciously offered to finish cutting it up for us, and my niece Kenadee helped. CJ helped us make up the roasts and run the hamburg through my grandparents' meat grinder. Welcome to Charlotte's Meat Market!
I am still shaking my head and laughing at the craziness of it all. Yep, God answered our prayer for meat alright-- except next time maybe we'll be a bit more specific about the method of obtaining said meat!!!
When all the stress of costs, preparing food, cooking, coaxing the kids to eat, watching them like hawks to make sure they don't eat something they shouldn't, and playing detective with their symptoms, gets to me, I have to remember God is good. He is really, really good. He has shown me He's walking this path with us in so many real and tangible ways, how can I doubt his love for us? When our patience wears thin and our energy is low, He holds us up. When we are fearful and worry, He comforts us. When we don't have, He gives. It might not be in the way we expect, but He always comes through. He keeps His promises, and He keeps us in His arms. There is nowhere I'd rather be.
I am humbled He is working through our lives and I pray that our testimony will touch the lives of people around us. It's hard to understand why we struggle with things, why life sometimes seems unfair and you can't catch a break. Why some people suffer and others do not. It's a lonely world, and who truly cares about the cares hidden in our hearts? If anything I say resonates with you let it be this- God is real, and He cares. Someday He will make all things clear to us, but for now, it really doesn't matter why Charlotte's sick. What matters is that He is working in this situation, and to Him be the glory.
Charlotte's health has been up and down. I'm trying to figure out what she's been reacting to lately- she hasn't been herself (grumpy, not sleeping well, fussy) and she's been having diarrhea a lot. I pulled all her veggies to see what might be the culprit. So she's eating just her broth, venison, turkey, beef, and sweet potato at the moment.
I'm trying to focus more on Parker's health and we're working on getting him to eat more things. He is very stubborn and unwilling to try new foods. We borrowed a mini blender from my mom and for some reason he's happier to eat his soups in puree form. Yum. So I've been able to hide a good amount of meats, lentils, and veggies that way.
I'm 19 weeks along with Baby3! My ultrasound is tomorrow so we're all excited to "go see the baby on TV." My morning sickness seemed to taper off, but it's been back with a vengeance this weekend, so... I'll just take each day as it comes. I'm still eating GAPS foods, with sourdough bread, and sometimes sprouted grains. Hopefully this will help Baby to be as healthy as possible. Good thing ultimately God's in control and not me. Some days all I can manage is some toast and peanut butter!
I went out hunting with my brother every chance I got trying to get Charlotte a deer for our freezer. Despite my diligence, I didn't see a buck. My big belly was making it harder to waddle in the deep snow towards the end and I sat out there freezing a couple days. My friend Lori specifically asked her church for prayers that I'd be able to get a deer. Well...
 |
| Hunting with my niece Bailey and brothers Tommy and Kevin |
Right before rifle season came to a close, we had to put our van into the garage. So early the next morning we all piled into the car to drive CJ to work. There we were, cruising down 111 on our way to Biddeford going 55 mph. Suddenly a huge buck ran right in front of us. CJ swerved into the other lane (thank God there was no one there, especially since we were at the top of a hill), but we couldn't avoid the collision. None of us were hurt, but the deer was not so fortunate!
While we waited for the warden to arrive, we checked out the car. The hood was smashed, and a headlight, but the bumper was still intact. The car was smoking and smelling a bit, but honestly, we thought maybe we had only injured the deer and that it probably just took off. CJ went out into the woods and ventured up the road a bit. The deer had ran up into a nearby dirt driveway and died right there. It did not suffer long, and we didn't even have to pull it out of the woods! This wasn't just a little deer- this was a 220 pound buck with a 7 point, 24-inch rack!
 |
| Tommy enviously reaches for the rack! |
The state police came and asked if we wanted it. Um, yes! My brother came with his truck to clean it out for us and take it back to his house to hang. Gary came to bring CJ to work and followed us home to make sure we were alright in the car. Unfortunately we didn't have the insurance on the car to cover the damage since it's an old car and not worth very much. We're not sure how/if we can fix it, so for now we're down to just the van (which also needs major work). So we might have two bum vehicles, but we have meat in our freezer for Charlotte!
Then! Then we got a call that a hunter in our friends' hunting club had some meat to donate. When we opened up the cooler we discovered that almost an entire deer was there! I'm standing there in the kitchen suddenly wondering where we're going to put this meat (since the beef we ordered arrived and was stocked in our freezer), when I hear my phone beeping that I have a text message from CJ. God had that covered, too! "I think I found us another freezer." A woman CJ works with had a big chest freezer she wanted to get rid of, and she even delivered it to us!
I cut the deer up myself with Kevin's help in our kitchen! (Charlotte, when you're old, please never say I never did anything for you!) Hardly any meat was spoiled from the one we hit! We worked about 9 hours butchering and then had to call it a night. What a lot of work! Good thing Kevin brought my niece Bailey who was a huge help taking care of the kids! My brother even graciously offered to finish cutting it up for us, and my niece Kenadee helped. CJ helped us make up the roasts and run the hamburg through my grandparents' meat grinder. Welcome to Charlotte's Meat Market!
I am still shaking my head and laughing at the craziness of it all. Yep, God answered our prayer for meat alright-- except next time maybe we'll be a bit more specific about the method of obtaining said meat!!!
When all the stress of costs, preparing food, cooking, coaxing the kids to eat, watching them like hawks to make sure they don't eat something they shouldn't, and playing detective with their symptoms, gets to me, I have to remember God is good. He is really, really good. He has shown me He's walking this path with us in so many real and tangible ways, how can I doubt his love for us? When our patience wears thin and our energy is low, He holds us up. When we are fearful and worry, He comforts us. When we don't have, He gives. It might not be in the way we expect, but He always comes through. He keeps His promises, and He keeps us in His arms. There is nowhere I'd rather be.
I am humbled He is working through our lives and I pray that our testimony will touch the lives of people around us. It's hard to understand why we struggle with things, why life sometimes seems unfair and you can't catch a break. Why some people suffer and others do not. It's a lonely world, and who truly cares about the cares hidden in our hearts? If anything I say resonates with you let it be this- God is real, and He cares. Someday He will make all things clear to us, but for now, it really doesn't matter why Charlotte's sick. What matters is that He is working in this situation, and to Him be the glory.
Our Amazing Bake Sale
My dear friend Lori was the brains and the braun behind another amazing fund-raiser for Charlotte. She and their church, Pleasant Hill Baptist Church in Hollis hosted a beautiful bake sale in October.
Lori made the decorations using Charlotte's favorite colors, yellow and purple! The tables in the church were decorated with flowers and balloons, and there was a cute big banner. She went above and beyond and everything looked fabulous! Everything was wrapped and packaged just so, with adorable cow and barn animal tags. She did a lot of baking herself, but friends, some of the ladies from church, neighbors, and many folks we don't even know, baked delicious and fancy treats. They even made little tea wallets and cup cozys. There was everything from homemade granola to baklava to cinnamon rolls to homemade breads to cakes and cookies. I could not believe how many goodies there were, and all all the love that was behind all that baking.
Not a ton of people came that day, but the next day folks enjoyed the goodies after church. Yet still, God was generous through His people. When Lori told me, she said she'd started with a goal of $500. Pastor Brian had somewhat laughed at her and said they'd never raised money like that at a bake sale. When she told him how much was raised, over $1,000 (!!) he said this is a reminder that we can never underestimate God. Lori talked about the verse in Malachi where God says, "I will open the windows of Heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in!" (Malachi 3:10) I love this! Jehovah Jireh, my provider!
Parker was happy to know that all the leftover baked goods were donated to a few local fire departments! (He loves fire trucks!)
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| My wonderful friend, Lori, who was behind all of this! |
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| Homemade granola bars |
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| Little tea wallets, cup cozys and coffee bags |
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| Charlotte checks out the table decorations |
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| Look at that spread! |
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| Homemade granola |
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| Bake Sale Banner and tables |
Parker was happy to know that all the leftover baked goods were donated to a few local fire departments! (He loves fire trucks!)
"Family Helping Charlotte" Yard Sale
I mentioned previously that we had an amazing yard sale to benefit Charlotte back in October. I'm pleased to finally be able to write about it!
My mom and her husband Lysle had the great idea of hosting a "Family Helping Charlotte" yard sale at their house. They worked hours and hours gathering things from their house and sorting through donations before the big day. We made up a banner and poster, had balloons, and put up signs. My mom made many kinds of cookies and muffins, my nieces made brownies, and we also got donuts to sell. We had hot coffee and tea. We had helpers move furniture and tables for us. Then there were the helpers that day- helping customers, watching the kids, and making it happen!
The day started off cloudy, but as the morning went on, the raindrops started falling. It was chilly and wet, and we had to cover up the tables with tarps. But still, the people kept coming. Once folks learned about Charlotte, they couldn't help but bring something home, and most people gave us more than we asked for. I'd like to share some of my favorite stories from that day.
One man came up to me holding a maraca in his hand, and said, "how much?" I stood there a second, thinking I should just give the old thing away- what would it be worth? Ten cents? Finally I laughed and said, "Whatever you'd like to bring it home for!" He then asked, "Nine?" In my head I'm thinking, nine cents? What? He then hands me nine dollars and walks away. Nine dollars for an old toy maraca?!
My grandmother was helping a lady with a boy who wanted to buy a toy. My grandmother asked for a dollar, and the mother gave her one. Then the little boy held out his five dollar bill to Gram. She told him, "You're all set, your mom just paid for your toy." Then he nodded and said, "I know. This is for Charlotte."
Another young man was looking at our poster that had Charlotte's photo on it which explained that she has serious digestive issues. He asked what she could eat and my grandmother told him meats and green beans. He left, and returned awhile later with three cans of green beans, as well as some things he had at his house that he said he didn't need anymore and we could sell at the yard sale. This guy might have been 20, not much older.
Even though Charlotte can't tolerate green beans anymore, we will keep those green bean cans, as a reminder of his kindness and how God worked in the hearts of people that day to give and care for us. If you come to visit us, Parker might just proudly point out those cans above our kitchen cabinets.
At the end of the day, we still had a ton of stuff left. I had no idea how much money we might have raised, so when Lysle told me I nearly fell over. We raised $940! Praise God! We are so thankful to everyone for helping us with this fund-raiser!
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| My Mom even made us all name tags. Charlotte proudly sticks hers on her belly. |
My mom and her husband Lysle had the great idea of hosting a "Family Helping Charlotte" yard sale at their house. They worked hours and hours gathering things from their house and sorting through donations before the big day. We made up a banner and poster, had balloons, and put up signs. My mom made many kinds of cookies and muffins, my nieces made brownies, and we also got donuts to sell. We had hot coffee and tea. We had helpers move furniture and tables for us. Then there were the helpers that day- helping customers, watching the kids, and making it happen!
The day started off cloudy, but as the morning went on, the raindrops started falling. It was chilly and wet, and we had to cover up the tables with tarps. But still, the people kept coming. Once folks learned about Charlotte, they couldn't help but bring something home, and most people gave us more than we asked for. I'd like to share some of my favorite stories from that day.
One man came up to me holding a maraca in his hand, and said, "how much?" I stood there a second, thinking I should just give the old thing away- what would it be worth? Ten cents? Finally I laughed and said, "Whatever you'd like to bring it home for!" He then asked, "Nine?" In my head I'm thinking, nine cents? What? He then hands me nine dollars and walks away. Nine dollars for an old toy maraca?!
My grandmother was helping a lady with a boy who wanted to buy a toy. My grandmother asked for a dollar, and the mother gave her one. Then the little boy held out his five dollar bill to Gram. She told him, "You're all set, your mom just paid for your toy." Then he nodded and said, "I know. This is for Charlotte."
Another young man was looking at our poster that had Charlotte's photo on it which explained that she has serious digestive issues. He asked what she could eat and my grandmother told him meats and green beans. He left, and returned awhile later with three cans of green beans, as well as some things he had at his house that he said he didn't need anymore and we could sell at the yard sale. This guy might have been 20, not much older.
Even though Charlotte can't tolerate green beans anymore, we will keep those green bean cans, as a reminder of his kindness and how God worked in the hearts of people that day to give and care for us. If you come to visit us, Parker might just proudly point out those cans above our kitchen cabinets.
At the end of the day, we still had a ton of stuff left. I had no idea how much money we might have raised, so when Lysle told me I nearly fell over. We raised $940! Praise God! We are so thankful to everyone for helping us with this fund-raiser!
Charlotte's 2nd Birthday Photos
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| Birthday morning! |
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| Singing "Happy Birthday" |
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| Charlotte's "Cow Party!" Opening her new cow bag |
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| New cow sweater knit by Grammie J was a huge hit! |
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| Cow party snacks |
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| She loved the purple decorations and cow balloons |
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| I had to improvise- no birthday cake this year! I used cookie cutters to make cow and heart shaped sweet potatoes and venison! She loved it! |
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| Party decorations |
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| Party favors! |
Recent Photos
Finally I took the time to figure out how to upload photos on here again. It always takes me way too much time- there must be an easier way!
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| Pregnancy kicking my butt! Napping while the kids watch their 1,000th movie! |
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| Playing in the snow |
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| Charley Beth! |
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| My coloring helper! We have been working on all our thank you cards... we may get them finished in the next YEAR! Until then, if we owe you a thank you card, please know how VERY MUCH we appreciate you, your help, and prayers! |
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| Good girl drinking up her broth! |
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| Charlotte's "goofballs" (what she calls her meatballs! These have carrot and leek too). She likes to say, "I have lots of goofballs in my belly!" |
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| Little goof eating her "goofballs!" |
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| Playing picnic with Parker. Someday maybe you can eat all those foods! |
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| My sweet girl! |
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| One of Charlotte's sick days. Just miserable. |
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| Charlotte |
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| Parker |
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| What happens when you tell them to smile! |
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| Playing at Pumpkin Valley |
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| Playing at Pumpkin Valley |
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| Leaf pile fun |
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| Love these little munchkins! |
The Cost of GAPS
Many people ask me why it's so expensive to do GAPS when Charlotte eats so little food. I thought it might be helpful to explain our needs so folks will have a better idea of how choosing to do this diet has affected our family, and why we are SO grateful for the help and support we've been given.
As far as Charlotte's diet goes, right now she can eat organic, free-range turkey, organic, grass-fed beef, venison, and organic sweet potatoes. Organic turkey at the farm costs $2.99 on sale. The side of beef we ordered previously was $1,000, and the quarter we just got was almost half that. (Not buying in bulk means astronomical costs. Um, organic steak at $17.99/lb?!) The organic sweet potatoes are $4.69 a bag, which contains 4-5 sweet potatoes. To give you an idea of how much Charlotte eats- she'll easily eat her broth, a pound or more of meat, and 2-3 sweet potatoes each day.
Our food costs are also higher because Parker and I (and CJ most of the time by default) are eating "Full GAPS" meals. This means nothing processed, no grains, no sugar, and everything as clean as we can afford. There is no 99-cent box of macaroni for dinner in this house. There are no shortcuts, only preparing everything we eat (pretty much) from scratch. We rely heavily on local farms and were thankful to have a garden this past summer. Things like raw honey, coconut oil, almond flour, and other new ingredients, all cost so much. I make a lot of soups with bone broth and vegetables, which help keep costs a bit lower. Yes, it's expensive to eat this way, but our family needs to heal. My gut health is passed onto the kids, and making sure I, this baby, and Parker, also get what we need to be as healthy as possible is also a priority. And CJ! He hasn't escaped my health-nut cooking; I'm doing him a favor! His taste buds might not always agree though!
Plus, after the hours and hours (... and hours!) I've spent researching food, ingredients, the effects of foods on our bodies, brains, and health, I could not in good conscience feed my family the way I used to. I have had to learn a whole new way to cook. Everything I have been taught in health classes growing up and even in college, has been thrown out the window. Things I used to view as evil I now embrace (organic butter, high quality animal fats, salt- though now we use unprocessed sea salts). Did you know some kinds of boxed cereal actually have magnetic properties, and contain things like paint thinner? That white sugar has a similar physiological affect on the brain as cocaine? That fluoride used to be sold as rat poison? I could go on and on all day about what I've learned, but everyone must make their own choices. I only hope that feeding our family this way will set the kids (and us) up for healthier futures. And of course, we feel better!
More costs we've had since we started GAPS include getting rid of things that are potentially toxic in our home. We have replaced dozens of things- cookware (we now use glass, cast iron, stainless steel), getting rid of plastics, using safer soaps and cosmetics (Dr. Bronners for Charlotte, homemade lotions, homemade toothpaste), laundry soap, household cleaners, medicines (we use natural remedies now, homeopathic medicines, essential oils), etc. We purchased an air purifier since we're in a duplex and need to clean air coming from our smoking neighbors ($145), a water purifier to remove chemicals that hinder healing ($250). We do detox baths with epsom salts, apple cider vinegar, and baking soda. Charlotte's diapers are more expensive since we buy ones free of chlorine and other chemicals. (We've tried unsuccessfully to use cloth- she just has too many rashes. We do this some of the time, but not as much as we did with Parker, and hopefully will our next baby.) All costs like this add up. I've had to order a few books to help us along this journey too.
Then there is the cost of our supplements. Fermented cod liver oil, vitamins/minerals, fermented vegetables (since I haven't been able to keep up making my own), therapeutic strength probiotics (about $40/box), etc.
To keep in touch with our Australian doctor, it's $180 per hour, plus $70 per hour for follow up emails/calls. Insurance doesn't cover any of this. If you remember from our early posts, the medical community has little to offer us anyhow in terms of real hope for Charlotte- we'd be looking at possibly a lifetime of elemental formulas, experimental drugs, repeated scopes and biopsies, etc. Yes, insurance would cover some of this, but what kind of life would that be? We're interested in real healing. We want to heal and move on with life, not deal with this for a lifetime. So, hopefully this will be a small cost to pay for better health for Charlotte and all of us.
I hope this helps explain a little background behind why finances are tight for us. Also for those of you who don't know us well, CJ spent the past 2 1/2 years in grad school, only working part time. Then he went four months without a job this summer. Now thankfully he's employed, but let's be honest, he works at a public school. Then sprinkle in college debt and other basic expenses. I'm not complaining, just starting the facts. It's humbling to struggle to provide for your family's basic needs. But God's faithful, and we're grateful. Someday we'll be in a better position (maybe, hopefully?!) and we'll be able to be more on the giving end rather than the receiving end, and that'll feel really good. For now, we'll continue to live carefully within our means, share what we've been blessed with, make good choices, and pursue being a healthy family.
For all of you who have helped us and prayed for us, we thank you. God hears and answers our prayers, and I'm thankful He's using you all to accomplish His work here.
As far as Charlotte's diet goes, right now she can eat organic, free-range turkey, organic, grass-fed beef, venison, and organic sweet potatoes. Organic turkey at the farm costs $2.99 on sale. The side of beef we ordered previously was $1,000, and the quarter we just got was almost half that. (Not buying in bulk means astronomical costs. Um, organic steak at $17.99/lb?!) The organic sweet potatoes are $4.69 a bag, which contains 4-5 sweet potatoes. To give you an idea of how much Charlotte eats- she'll easily eat her broth, a pound or more of meat, and 2-3 sweet potatoes each day.
Our food costs are also higher because Parker and I (and CJ most of the time by default) are eating "Full GAPS" meals. This means nothing processed, no grains, no sugar, and everything as clean as we can afford. There is no 99-cent box of macaroni for dinner in this house. There are no shortcuts, only preparing everything we eat (pretty much) from scratch. We rely heavily on local farms and were thankful to have a garden this past summer. Things like raw honey, coconut oil, almond flour, and other new ingredients, all cost so much. I make a lot of soups with bone broth and vegetables, which help keep costs a bit lower. Yes, it's expensive to eat this way, but our family needs to heal. My gut health is passed onto the kids, and making sure I, this baby, and Parker, also get what we need to be as healthy as possible is also a priority. And CJ! He hasn't escaped my health-nut cooking; I'm doing him a favor! His taste buds might not always agree though!
Plus, after the hours and hours (... and hours!) I've spent researching food, ingredients, the effects of foods on our bodies, brains, and health, I could not in good conscience feed my family the way I used to. I have had to learn a whole new way to cook. Everything I have been taught in health classes growing up and even in college, has been thrown out the window. Things I used to view as evil I now embrace (organic butter, high quality animal fats, salt- though now we use unprocessed sea salts). Did you know some kinds of boxed cereal actually have magnetic properties, and contain things like paint thinner? That white sugar has a similar physiological affect on the brain as cocaine? That fluoride used to be sold as rat poison? I could go on and on all day about what I've learned, but everyone must make their own choices. I only hope that feeding our family this way will set the kids (and us) up for healthier futures. And of course, we feel better!
More costs we've had since we started GAPS include getting rid of things that are potentially toxic in our home. We have replaced dozens of things- cookware (we now use glass, cast iron, stainless steel), getting rid of plastics, using safer soaps and cosmetics (Dr. Bronners for Charlotte, homemade lotions, homemade toothpaste), laundry soap, household cleaners, medicines (we use natural remedies now, homeopathic medicines, essential oils), etc. We purchased an air purifier since we're in a duplex and need to clean air coming from our smoking neighbors ($145), a water purifier to remove chemicals that hinder healing ($250). We do detox baths with epsom salts, apple cider vinegar, and baking soda. Charlotte's diapers are more expensive since we buy ones free of chlorine and other chemicals. (We've tried unsuccessfully to use cloth- she just has too many rashes. We do this some of the time, but not as much as we did with Parker, and hopefully will our next baby.) All costs like this add up. I've had to order a few books to help us along this journey too.
Then there is the cost of our supplements. Fermented cod liver oil, vitamins/minerals, fermented vegetables (since I haven't been able to keep up making my own), therapeutic strength probiotics (about $40/box), etc.
To keep in touch with our Australian doctor, it's $180 per hour, plus $70 per hour for follow up emails/calls. Insurance doesn't cover any of this. If you remember from our early posts, the medical community has little to offer us anyhow in terms of real hope for Charlotte- we'd be looking at possibly a lifetime of elemental formulas, experimental drugs, repeated scopes and biopsies, etc. Yes, insurance would cover some of this, but what kind of life would that be? We're interested in real healing. We want to heal and move on with life, not deal with this for a lifetime. So, hopefully this will be a small cost to pay for better health for Charlotte and all of us.
I hope this helps explain a little background behind why finances are tight for us. Also for those of you who don't know us well, CJ spent the past 2 1/2 years in grad school, only working part time. Then he went four months without a job this summer. Now thankfully he's employed, but let's be honest, he works at a public school. Then sprinkle in college debt and other basic expenses. I'm not complaining, just starting the facts. It's humbling to struggle to provide for your family's basic needs. But God's faithful, and we're grateful. Someday we'll be in a better position (maybe, hopefully?!) and we'll be able to be more on the giving end rather than the receiving end, and that'll feel really good. For now, we'll continue to live carefully within our means, share what we've been blessed with, make good choices, and pursue being a healthy family.
For all of you who have helped us and prayed for us, we thank you. God hears and answers our prayers, and I'm thankful He's using you all to accomplish His work here.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Long Overdue Updates
I apologize for not updating this in so long. I have been living under a rock called "morning sickness" the past few months! Things are slowly improving. Mornings are still dicey, but that's small potatoes compared to constant nausea, vomiting, and exhaustion!
Since moving into our apartment and the initial busy time of unpacking, hosting Charlotte's birthday party, and the yard sale and bake sale, not much has been accomplished otherwise! Our children have presumedly lost some brain cells watching "Wee Sing in Sillyville" and other videos countless times, while I've been sick. The autumn leaves have come and gone, and the deep chill of winter is starting to set in. I can hardly believe we'll celebrate Thanksgiving next week, and then we'll launch into the Christmas festivities.
We've been on the GAPS journey for nearly nine months now. Charlotte's been -mostly- stable. I have not been able to pay as much attention to her supplements, etc. as we've been functioning in survival mode. She is mainly eating beef, turkey, venison, and sweet potatoes. She has been tolerating leek and celery boiled along with her broth.
We have tried carrots and they seem to be agreeing with her although she will hardly ever eat them. I have trouble figuring out whether she avoids foods that bother her tummy or whether she doesn't like the taste or texture. I'm not pushing it, but continuing to offer them to her. We trialed carrots quite a few times since starting GAPS, and each previous time they made her immediately react. This time she isn't getting any outward signs of intolerance and the carrots haven't kept her up at night in pain. So that's progress! I have to remind myself of these little victories.
We have been juggling Charlotte's foods also, which has been complicating things. We ran out of her beef about a month ago and have been waiting to get some that we ordered from a family friend. The local farm we've purchased from before has been out of beef too. We were given about 15 packages of mule deer, whitetail deer, and moose meat from my stepdad's cousin who is a big hunter. While this has been a helpful interim, she is also reacting mildly to the moose and mule deer. I have had to ignore some of her mild reactions simply because we don't have another safer option right now. We have been told that if she is showing reactions through her skin that is an indicator of the internal inflammation we can't see. It's best to avoid things like this, but some times you just have to do the best you can. I am thankful she is only having skin reactions and irritability rather than sleepless nights, but still, I'll be glad when we have her safe standbys!
My brother has been so generous at sharing their venison. Not only is that a safe food for her, but it's her absolute favorite! I really think she loves Uncle Kevin so much because she knows he gives her deer meat! Every time I see him I don't mention anything, but he will give us a few more packages just in the nick of time when we need meat for Charlotte. As often as I can, I've been out hunting with Kevin trying to get a deer for our freezer. I have been trying to go out on Saturdays and some afternoons when Kevin gets out of work. One of my nieces got her deer opening day, which has been perfect because she loaned me her hunting gear and she's been watching the kids at their house so I can hunt! Talk about a blessing! I took the safety course a few months ago, so this is my first year going out. Kevin has a lot of land and he's been great about getting me more comfortable hunting. We have jumped some walking in and out, and I had a great opportunity to get a doe, but I don't have a doe permit. I'm still waiting (and praying for!) a nice big buck!
Even tonight we used the very last package of meat and I got a message from my cousin who found a bunch of deer meat in her deep freezer that they didn't want. I went right over to pick it up. God is really, really good. He provides what we need, when we need it. I am just so in awe of this lately. Even with little things- our van's been needing an oil change and our engine light came on the other day. While visiting CJ's grandparents, his grandpa asked if we would like a free oil change coupon he found. These little tokens of generosity are speaking to my overwhelmed heart, reminding me over and over of God's reassuring presence and love for us.
Parker's behavior and attitude have been very challenging lately. This has been all consuming. I will leave it at that. We would appreciate prayers about this- and for wisdom, patience, and energy to deal with this. I trust God will help me through all things, and this just goes to show me how much I do NEED God to help me. Even reading over this blog post, I can tell I'm not as chipper as I should be. I just feel totally spent lately- like I'm bobbing in the water, clinging to my buoy (Christ). The waters have been rough!
CJ's job is going very well, and as he tells everyone, he's "not bored!" I think the school is a good fit for him. He is continuing to do drill weekends with the Marines in Massachusetts and look into more opportunities with the Reserves.
I'm thankful for my healthy pregnancy- Baby has been very active and his/her heartbeat has been nice and strong. I am excited about the midwife practice I'm going to. My belly is "popping" and I'm enjoying feeling my littlest one wiggling about. I'm 17.5 weeks, so time is passing! Baby is about 5 inches now. We have our big ultrasound scheduled for the beginning of December, but we're hoping to keep the gender a mystery till he/she is born. Now to decide on some names- Parker has lots of suggestions, including "Achan" (one of the spies who went to Jerico) or "Sneaky." He's convinced it's a boy, and so is CJ. My guess is girl, but I'm not sure I can trust my instincts since I was wrong with both Parker and Charlotte! :)
We are all settled into our new apartment (aside from hanging some pictures and organizing the tornado-like attic!) We had to invest in a new water filter called a Berkey to eliminate the gunk in our town water (fluoride, chlorine, etc) that Charlotte is not supposed to have. We also had to get an air purifier and had the landlord change our air filters. Our duplex neighbors are smokers and we had an issue of smoke transferring in here through our heat vents. Thankfully we have not had any more problems with that since. The first month we lived here the kids and I were constantly waking up at night coughing. The night after using the purifier and having the vents cleaned we slept without a tickle in our throats. Trying to cut down on all the environmental toxins is one way we can really support Charlotte's system- since the less work her body is doing processing and try to get rid of these toxins, the more her body can focus on healing and digesting her food properly. Things like water and air quality might not seem like a big deal, but to someone as sensitive as Charlotte, they truly are. I'm grateful we had the funding to be able to purchase these things.
We're enjoying being near family and having some folks to call upon when we need a visit or some help. I've made some pitiful pleas lately and my mom and Judy have been quick to rescue me with kid help, errand-running, even washing my dishes, etc! We've even had friends bring CJ dinner! (Poor guy hasn't had much in the line of home-cooked meals lately!) We have met some great new friends through the homeschool group I joined and have been enjoying some playdates with like-minded Christian friends. Parker and Charlotte love their cousin-time, and library storytime too. We're slowly getting into a routine. I'd like to get going on some more homeschool activities but thus far motivation has not = energy levels!
We have been collecting things for our Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes. The kids have helped me fill them with things they might like to get. As Christmas nears we're trying hard to get them focused on others and giving vs. getting. I am making Jesse Tree ornaments to do an Advent calendar with them this year. Each day up till Christmas they get to open a new ornament and we will read Scriptures that will take them from the Creation of the world up through Jesus' birth. It's been humbling to be on the receiving end so often lately, and I wish I had more time/energy/resources to give back. I hope the kids will realize the joy of giving and be appreciative of all we are blessed with!
I still need to upload photos and share about the AMAZING fund-raisers we had. But I'll have to save that for another day! I have about 30 thank you cards also waiting to be written out. We just cannot express how grateful we are for God's provision, grace, and the beautiful hearts of folks who have been so kind to help us, pray for us, and encourage us through all of this. We have so much to be thankful for!
Since moving into our apartment and the initial busy time of unpacking, hosting Charlotte's birthday party, and the yard sale and bake sale, not much has been accomplished otherwise! Our children have presumedly lost some brain cells watching "Wee Sing in Sillyville" and other videos countless times, while I've been sick. The autumn leaves have come and gone, and the deep chill of winter is starting to set in. I can hardly believe we'll celebrate Thanksgiving next week, and then we'll launch into the Christmas festivities.
We've been on the GAPS journey for nearly nine months now. Charlotte's been -mostly- stable. I have not been able to pay as much attention to her supplements, etc. as we've been functioning in survival mode. She is mainly eating beef, turkey, venison, and sweet potatoes. She has been tolerating leek and celery boiled along with her broth.
We have tried carrots and they seem to be agreeing with her although she will hardly ever eat them. I have trouble figuring out whether she avoids foods that bother her tummy or whether she doesn't like the taste or texture. I'm not pushing it, but continuing to offer them to her. We trialed carrots quite a few times since starting GAPS, and each previous time they made her immediately react. This time she isn't getting any outward signs of intolerance and the carrots haven't kept her up at night in pain. So that's progress! I have to remind myself of these little victories.
We have been juggling Charlotte's foods also, which has been complicating things. We ran out of her beef about a month ago and have been waiting to get some that we ordered from a family friend. The local farm we've purchased from before has been out of beef too. We were given about 15 packages of mule deer, whitetail deer, and moose meat from my stepdad's cousin who is a big hunter. While this has been a helpful interim, she is also reacting mildly to the moose and mule deer. I have had to ignore some of her mild reactions simply because we don't have another safer option right now. We have been told that if she is showing reactions through her skin that is an indicator of the internal inflammation we can't see. It's best to avoid things like this, but some times you just have to do the best you can. I am thankful she is only having skin reactions and irritability rather than sleepless nights, but still, I'll be glad when we have her safe standbys!
My brother has been so generous at sharing their venison. Not only is that a safe food for her, but it's her absolute favorite! I really think she loves Uncle Kevin so much because she knows he gives her deer meat! Every time I see him I don't mention anything, but he will give us a few more packages just in the nick of time when we need meat for Charlotte. As often as I can, I've been out hunting with Kevin trying to get a deer for our freezer. I have been trying to go out on Saturdays and some afternoons when Kevin gets out of work. One of my nieces got her deer opening day, which has been perfect because she loaned me her hunting gear and she's been watching the kids at their house so I can hunt! Talk about a blessing! I took the safety course a few months ago, so this is my first year going out. Kevin has a lot of land and he's been great about getting me more comfortable hunting. We have jumped some walking in and out, and I had a great opportunity to get a doe, but I don't have a doe permit. I'm still waiting (and praying for!) a nice big buck!
Even tonight we used the very last package of meat and I got a message from my cousin who found a bunch of deer meat in her deep freezer that they didn't want. I went right over to pick it up. God is really, really good. He provides what we need, when we need it. I am just so in awe of this lately. Even with little things- our van's been needing an oil change and our engine light came on the other day. While visiting CJ's grandparents, his grandpa asked if we would like a free oil change coupon he found. These little tokens of generosity are speaking to my overwhelmed heart, reminding me over and over of God's reassuring presence and love for us.
Parker's behavior and attitude have been very challenging lately. This has been all consuming. I will leave it at that. We would appreciate prayers about this- and for wisdom, patience, and energy to deal with this. I trust God will help me through all things, and this just goes to show me how much I do NEED God to help me. Even reading over this blog post, I can tell I'm not as chipper as I should be. I just feel totally spent lately- like I'm bobbing in the water, clinging to my buoy (Christ). The waters have been rough!
CJ's job is going very well, and as he tells everyone, he's "not bored!" I think the school is a good fit for him. He is continuing to do drill weekends with the Marines in Massachusetts and look into more opportunities with the Reserves.
I'm thankful for my healthy pregnancy- Baby has been very active and his/her heartbeat has been nice and strong. I am excited about the midwife practice I'm going to. My belly is "popping" and I'm enjoying feeling my littlest one wiggling about. I'm 17.5 weeks, so time is passing! Baby is about 5 inches now. We have our big ultrasound scheduled for the beginning of December, but we're hoping to keep the gender a mystery till he/she is born. Now to decide on some names- Parker has lots of suggestions, including "Achan" (one of the spies who went to Jerico) or "Sneaky." He's convinced it's a boy, and so is CJ. My guess is girl, but I'm not sure I can trust my instincts since I was wrong with both Parker and Charlotte! :)
We are all settled into our new apartment (aside from hanging some pictures and organizing the tornado-like attic!) We had to invest in a new water filter called a Berkey to eliminate the gunk in our town water (fluoride, chlorine, etc) that Charlotte is not supposed to have. We also had to get an air purifier and had the landlord change our air filters. Our duplex neighbors are smokers and we had an issue of smoke transferring in here through our heat vents. Thankfully we have not had any more problems with that since. The first month we lived here the kids and I were constantly waking up at night coughing. The night after using the purifier and having the vents cleaned we slept without a tickle in our throats. Trying to cut down on all the environmental toxins is one way we can really support Charlotte's system- since the less work her body is doing processing and try to get rid of these toxins, the more her body can focus on healing and digesting her food properly. Things like water and air quality might not seem like a big deal, but to someone as sensitive as Charlotte, they truly are. I'm grateful we had the funding to be able to purchase these things.
We're enjoying being near family and having some folks to call upon when we need a visit or some help. I've made some pitiful pleas lately and my mom and Judy have been quick to rescue me with kid help, errand-running, even washing my dishes, etc! We've even had friends bring CJ dinner! (Poor guy hasn't had much in the line of home-cooked meals lately!) We have met some great new friends through the homeschool group I joined and have been enjoying some playdates with like-minded Christian friends. Parker and Charlotte love their cousin-time, and library storytime too. We're slowly getting into a routine. I'd like to get going on some more homeschool activities but thus far motivation has not = energy levels!
We have been collecting things for our Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes. The kids have helped me fill them with things they might like to get. As Christmas nears we're trying hard to get them focused on others and giving vs. getting. I am making Jesse Tree ornaments to do an Advent calendar with them this year. Each day up till Christmas they get to open a new ornament and we will read Scriptures that will take them from the Creation of the world up through Jesus' birth. It's been humbling to be on the receiving end so often lately, and I wish I had more time/energy/resources to give back. I hope the kids will realize the joy of giving and be appreciative of all we are blessed with!
I still need to upload photos and share about the AMAZING fund-raisers we had. But I'll have to save that for another day! I have about 30 thank you cards also waiting to be written out. We just cannot express how grateful we are for God's provision, grace, and the beautiful hearts of folks who have been so kind to help us, pray for us, and encourage us through all of this. We have so much to be thankful for!
Sunday, October 26, 2014
I'm barefoot!
Because God has knocked my sock off!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope to be able to post this week about the amazing yard sale and bake sale we had, but I just wanted to say, God is faithful, and He cares so wonderfully for us that it makes me want to cry sometimes (who am I kidding, I'm pregnant, yes, there's some real crying going on here!).
Some amazing testimonies and photos to come soon!
I hope to be able to post this week about the amazing yard sale and bake sale we had, but I just wanted to say, God is faithful, and He cares so wonderfully for us that it makes me want to cry sometimes (who am I kidding, I'm pregnant, yes, there's some real crying going on here!).
Some amazing testimonies and photos to come soon!
Thursday, October 23, 2014
The Dust is Settling!
So much has happened lately, and we haven't had internet access to update the blog. So I'll probably write a few new posts as I get the chance. But first I'll check in to say where we're at.
The dust is finally settling around here. We're all moved into our new apartment. It is so wonderful to have our own space and know we're not hogging CJ's parents' house anymore! The kids have adjusted well and love their new rooms and finally having all their toys and books back. We have so much more room than we had in our old apartment. We were disappointed we didn't find a house of our own on the timeline we had, but we're thankful God opened this door, and are confident that He'll show us the perfect house at the right time. For now we'll enjoy this place! I'm enjoying being back in the town I grew up in, especially at its prettiest time, autumn. We can walk to the library, post office, park, and fire station so the kids are pleased about our location too. And, we're close to CJ's job and our families. :)
We hosted a birthday party for Charlotte a week after we moved in. I can't believe she's 2! At her request, we had a "cow party!" for her. We only invited immediate family, so it was small but sweet. We had cow balloons and purple decorations (her favorite color). She was so happy. I couldn't make her a cake, but I cut sweet potatoes into cow shapes with a cookie cutter, and CJ cut some venison into little hearts for her. I'll try to add photos soon so you can see the birthday girl!
One of the gifts Charlotte opened was a Big Sister Book! That's right, we're expecting another baby! We are thrilled that God is sending another blessing to us. Parker and Charlotte are excited and seem to understand. Charlotte LOVES babies and Parker's already a pro at this big brother stuff. The Baby is due May 2nd. I am just moving into my 13th week, so I'm hoping the constant yucky morning sickness I've experienced will soon pass. That certainly has complicated things, with our move, and everything else going on, but God's getting us through it! The kids have watched more than their share of movies lately, while I lie green on the couch, but I'll try not to feel too guilty as I'm sure soon I'll have more energy and feel better.
I have relaxed my diet a bit now that I'm not nursing Charlotte anymore. I haven't had much of an appetite, so I'm just doing the best I can. I'm determined not to worry about this baby's health. God knows what He's doing, and He is in ultimate control of the baby's health, and not me. Worrying or over-analyzing everything I do and eat will not help. I will continue eating gap-sy foods, but I'm giving myself more freedom to veer from it once in awhile. Of course, we'll hope and pray for a beautiful, healthy baby, but we'll be thankful for the carefully-chosen and unique child the Lord has decided to give us. I am so excited for our little growing family.
Charlotte's been at a standstill with her diet. I wish I could report more progress. These days she's eating organic sweet potatoes, turkey, beef, and venison. Once in awhile if I can find green beans she will eat a few, and we keep trying leek and rutabaga, but she mostly refuses them. We have backslid with her supplements too with all the activity lately in our family. We recently tried broccoli, and a week later we're still waiting for her diaper rash to fade. The doctor just suggested trying to add in something, anything, especially the more colorful veggies. I think we'll try kale next.
We have had some wonderful fund-raising events in Charlotte's honor, but they are worthy of their own posts! I'll try to write about them soon!
As always, thanks for reading, supporting us, and for the prayers! Keep 'em coming, please!
The dust is finally settling around here. We're all moved into our new apartment. It is so wonderful to have our own space and know we're not hogging CJ's parents' house anymore! The kids have adjusted well and love their new rooms and finally having all their toys and books back. We have so much more room than we had in our old apartment. We were disappointed we didn't find a house of our own on the timeline we had, but we're thankful God opened this door, and are confident that He'll show us the perfect house at the right time. For now we'll enjoy this place! I'm enjoying being back in the town I grew up in, especially at its prettiest time, autumn. We can walk to the library, post office, park, and fire station so the kids are pleased about our location too. And, we're close to CJ's job and our families. :)
We hosted a birthday party for Charlotte a week after we moved in. I can't believe she's 2! At her request, we had a "cow party!" for her. We only invited immediate family, so it was small but sweet. We had cow balloons and purple decorations (her favorite color). She was so happy. I couldn't make her a cake, but I cut sweet potatoes into cow shapes with a cookie cutter, and CJ cut some venison into little hearts for her. I'll try to add photos soon so you can see the birthday girl!
One of the gifts Charlotte opened was a Big Sister Book! That's right, we're expecting another baby! We are thrilled that God is sending another blessing to us. Parker and Charlotte are excited and seem to understand. Charlotte LOVES babies and Parker's already a pro at this big brother stuff. The Baby is due May 2nd. I am just moving into my 13th week, so I'm hoping the constant yucky morning sickness I've experienced will soon pass. That certainly has complicated things, with our move, and everything else going on, but God's getting us through it! The kids have watched more than their share of movies lately, while I lie green on the couch, but I'll try not to feel too guilty as I'm sure soon I'll have more energy and feel better.
I have relaxed my diet a bit now that I'm not nursing Charlotte anymore. I haven't had much of an appetite, so I'm just doing the best I can. I'm determined not to worry about this baby's health. God knows what He's doing, and He is in ultimate control of the baby's health, and not me. Worrying or over-analyzing everything I do and eat will not help. I will continue eating gap-sy foods, but I'm giving myself more freedom to veer from it once in awhile. Of course, we'll hope and pray for a beautiful, healthy baby, but we'll be thankful for the carefully-chosen and unique child the Lord has decided to give us. I am so excited for our little growing family.
Charlotte's been at a standstill with her diet. I wish I could report more progress. These days she's eating organic sweet potatoes, turkey, beef, and venison. Once in awhile if I can find green beans she will eat a few, and we keep trying leek and rutabaga, but she mostly refuses them. We have backslid with her supplements too with all the activity lately in our family. We recently tried broccoli, and a week later we're still waiting for her diaper rash to fade. The doctor just suggested trying to add in something, anything, especially the more colorful veggies. I think we'll try kale next.
We have had some wonderful fund-raising events in Charlotte's honor, but they are worthy of their own posts! I'll try to write about them soon!
As always, thanks for reading, supporting us, and for the prayers! Keep 'em coming, please!
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
One of those days
Ugh. Today has been one.of.those.days. One of those days where you want to just crawl back into bed, pull the pillow over your head, and stay there for a month. But the "Mummy, Mummy, I need you," though muffled, is still loud and incessant enough to pull you out of your retreat.
Days like today I just wish we were one of those "normal" families. You know, feed the kids a bowl of cereal with blueberries for breakfast, munch on PB & J and apple slices for an impromptu lunch at the park, stop for an ice cream cone on the way home. Where my my insanely picky child who feels the need to whine and complain about everything just happily eats what's before him. Where my insanely limited child can sink her teeth into a variety of foods, carefree and happy. Where I can eat a bowl of spaghetti with CJ at a restaurant while someone babysits the kids (hey, this is fantasy, I might as well imagine us on a quiet, relaxing date!)
Bam. Here is my reality. Trying to wean a child from nursing so I don't feel the underlying guilt of the possibility of me making her sick from something I've eaten. Or worrying about weaning her and her health plummeting because she's no longer getting the nutrients available in my milk. Heating up pot after pot of broth and boiled meat. Always the same thing. Running out of meat and needing to thaw it in a bowl of water while your toddler screams in hunger. Paying an arm and a leg for this precious food. The stress of how to pay for it all. The stress of knowing how sensitive she really is, and wondering if she will ever get healthy? If we will ever be moving forward by leaps and bounds? If we are doing the right thing. But what choice do we have? Other child only wants toast, bananas and peanut butter, and getting him to eat any.thing.else. is a WWIII battle. Anywhere we go I have to think through to cook food in advance, and pack it. I make 3 meals every mealtime, every day. Something for CJ and I, something healthy that Parker will eat with less resistance and avoiding his allergies, and boiled meat and stock for Charlotte. There is no "fast food" (24 hour yogurt must be made once a week, 6 week sauerkraut, broth boiled 2.5 hours, nothing processed, nothing out of a package). There is no going out to eat, unless you want to cheat or hit up the salad bar at Whole Foods. There is the weirdness of watching other people around you eat whatever they want, feed their kids whatever without a second thought. The knowledge that you are now one of those "crazy food nuts" and you really don't have much choice in the matter.
Yes, it may seem like I'm complaining, for that I'm sorry. But mostly I just need to vent and get this out of my system. I need to process. I don't want pity, I just need to be real.
Because here's the thing. I KNOW God gave these children to me, with their specific needs, characteristics, problems. I am THANKFUL for them every day, and HUMBLED that He chose me, a blundering fool, to take care of them. I wouldn't trade my sweet, funny, smart, beautiful, quirky kids for anything. Every day I do my best and try not to compare, complain, worry, feel guilt, or get overwhelmed.
But some days I fail. I compare myself, my mothering skills, my patience, to those around me. I compare my children. I wonder what I'm doing wrong. I complain, and cry out to God to change things, because I feel so powerless. I worry. I worry about what I'm doing, not doing, what I should be doing. I feel guilty. Maybe it's all my gut health that caused Charlotte to be so sick. Maybe the way I react to Parker is causing him to fry my every nerve. Then I'm sucked into this pit of feeling overwhelmed, and alone, with only God and CJ who truly understand the depth of all this stress.
Most days, I give all this YUCK over to God. I shrug it off and don't let it bother me too much. But some days it creeps back upon me, making my head swirl and spirits sink. Days like today.
So in these moments I do the only things I know. Pray. Trust. Hang on.
Know in the back of my mind, I need to have hope, even if I don't feel hopeful in that moment. Know I need to let go of all the muck and find my joy again. Keep things in perspective. Be positive. Be thankful. Let God wipe away my doubt, fears, guilt, worry. Embrace His peace. Remember He never gives us anything that He hasn't carefully considered and deems worthy of our good and His glory. Know that God loves us more than the devil can shake us, and we can never be snatched out of His hands. His power, His healing touch, His comfort- it's all right there, and He gives to those who freely ask. He moves on His time, and he never makes mistakes. Remember it's not all about me; in the end, it's about Him. This is one small way where I can be a testimony to His faithfulness, His grace, and His love.
Tomorrow will be another day.
So, please know, when I say I need you all to pray for us, I mean it. When I tell you how much those prayers mean to me, know that I really am thankful. Because days like today those prayers keep me afloat. I know there are people who love us, who fervently and faithfully pray for us, who don't look upon us in judgement that we don't have it all together, but in love. People who know our struggle is real, and and just not blown out of proportion. There are people I don't even know who pray for us. And I know God hears every single one of those prayers. That love is transferred to me on days like today, where God simply puts his hand in mine and walks through this with me.
Days like today I just wish we were one of those "normal" families. You know, feed the kids a bowl of cereal with blueberries for breakfast, munch on PB & J and apple slices for an impromptu lunch at the park, stop for an ice cream cone on the way home. Where my my insanely picky child who feels the need to whine and complain about everything just happily eats what's before him. Where my insanely limited child can sink her teeth into a variety of foods, carefree and happy. Where I can eat a bowl of spaghetti with CJ at a restaurant while someone babysits the kids (hey, this is fantasy, I might as well imagine us on a quiet, relaxing date!)
Bam. Here is my reality. Trying to wean a child from nursing so I don't feel the underlying guilt of the possibility of me making her sick from something I've eaten. Or worrying about weaning her and her health plummeting because she's no longer getting the nutrients available in my milk. Heating up pot after pot of broth and boiled meat. Always the same thing. Running out of meat and needing to thaw it in a bowl of water while your toddler screams in hunger. Paying an arm and a leg for this precious food. The stress of how to pay for it all. The stress of knowing how sensitive she really is, and wondering if she will ever get healthy? If we will ever be moving forward by leaps and bounds? If we are doing the right thing. But what choice do we have? Other child only wants toast, bananas and peanut butter, and getting him to eat any.thing.else. is a WWIII battle. Anywhere we go I have to think through to cook food in advance, and pack it. I make 3 meals every mealtime, every day. Something for CJ and I, something healthy that Parker will eat with less resistance and avoiding his allergies, and boiled meat and stock for Charlotte. There is no "fast food" (24 hour yogurt must be made once a week, 6 week sauerkraut, broth boiled 2.5 hours, nothing processed, nothing out of a package). There is no going out to eat, unless you want to cheat or hit up the salad bar at Whole Foods. There is the weirdness of watching other people around you eat whatever they want, feed their kids whatever without a second thought. The knowledge that you are now one of those "crazy food nuts" and you really don't have much choice in the matter.
Yes, it may seem like I'm complaining, for that I'm sorry. But mostly I just need to vent and get this out of my system. I need to process. I don't want pity, I just need to be real.
Because here's the thing. I KNOW God gave these children to me, with their specific needs, characteristics, problems. I am THANKFUL for them every day, and HUMBLED that He chose me, a blundering fool, to take care of them. I wouldn't trade my sweet, funny, smart, beautiful, quirky kids for anything. Every day I do my best and try not to compare, complain, worry, feel guilt, or get overwhelmed.
But some days I fail. I compare myself, my mothering skills, my patience, to those around me. I compare my children. I wonder what I'm doing wrong. I complain, and cry out to God to change things, because I feel so powerless. I worry. I worry about what I'm doing, not doing, what I should be doing. I feel guilty. Maybe it's all my gut health that caused Charlotte to be so sick. Maybe the way I react to Parker is causing him to fry my every nerve. Then I'm sucked into this pit of feeling overwhelmed, and alone, with only God and CJ who truly understand the depth of all this stress.
Most days, I give all this YUCK over to God. I shrug it off and don't let it bother me too much. But some days it creeps back upon me, making my head swirl and spirits sink. Days like today.
So in these moments I do the only things I know. Pray. Trust. Hang on.
Know in the back of my mind, I need to have hope, even if I don't feel hopeful in that moment. Know I need to let go of all the muck and find my joy again. Keep things in perspective. Be positive. Be thankful. Let God wipe away my doubt, fears, guilt, worry. Embrace His peace. Remember He never gives us anything that He hasn't carefully considered and deems worthy of our good and His glory. Know that God loves us more than the devil can shake us, and we can never be snatched out of His hands. His power, His healing touch, His comfort- it's all right there, and He gives to those who freely ask. He moves on His time, and he never makes mistakes. Remember it's not all about me; in the end, it's about Him. This is one small way where I can be a testimony to His faithfulness, His grace, and His love.
Tomorrow will be another day.
So, please know, when I say I need you all to pray for us, I mean it. When I tell you how much those prayers mean to me, know that I really am thankful. Because days like today those prayers keep me afloat. I know there are people who love us, who fervently and faithfully pray for us, who don't look upon us in judgement that we don't have it all together, but in love. People who know our struggle is real, and and just not blown out of proportion. There are people I don't even know who pray for us. And I know God hears every single one of those prayers. That love is transferred to me on days like today, where God simply puts his hand in mine and walks through this with me.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Crazy Month and Skype Time with an Australian Doc
It's really late, but I can't sleep, and I figure I may as well do something more productive than toss and turn in bed. We just finished a Skype conversation with a doctor in Australia, and my mind is full. And as Parker likes to say now that we've read Charlotte's Web, "When your stomach is empty and your mind is full, it's always hard to sleep."I keep meaning to update this, so here goes it!
Since my last post, things really seemed to spiral out of control with Charlotte. We were backtracking, we were miserable, and in general, everything was a mess. It's been a messy, stressful month.
On the homefront, CJ is doing well at his job and settling in. After house hunting all summer and waiting on financial matters with a few banks, we were in a holding pattern and nothing was working out in the right timing. We looked at an apartment in Alfred (where I grew up, about 20 minutes from CJ's job) on Saturday. We were told there were 7 other families who looked at it that day, and we would hear an answer over the weekend. Well, we didn't hear anything, so we got to thinking they probably wouldn't offer it to a family with kids if they had a choice. But we knew if it was supposed to be the place for us that God would work it out. Monday morning at 7am I got an email offering the apartment to us. So, while home ownership was what we had our hopes set on, we know God's timing and provision is best. This will allow us to move out of CJ's parents' house soon (Oct 1), which needed to happen. It will also give us time to get settled and grant more time for God to show us where He wants us long term on HIS timeline. And one more major thing finally planned out. So, we are thankful for a clean, safe place, and look forward to making it a home. God gives us what we need, always.
Back to Charlotte, in the midst of trying to secure housing, and CJ getting into his new routine at school, Charlotte was just feeling lousy. She seemed to be reacting to everything, regressing on the diet, and I didn't really know why or how to support her or help her move forward. We had many many HARD days with her crying on my hip- long days after long sleepless nights, cranky, irritable, irrational, not fun. I knew we needed to get some professional help to help me know where to focus and what to do next.
I got some recommendations from the folks in the Facebook support group I'm part of, for some specialists who work long distance. I spoke/emailed with a few and decided to get help from a doctor in Australia who specializes working with babies and kids with severe digestive disorders and healing them through nutrition.
Let me say, for the thousandth time, God is faithful. We do not have two cents to rub together right now, let alone more money to sink into this extremely expensive diet, supplements, or even the money to talk to a doctor. Many people have asked me, and no, insurance does not cover anything we are doing. It is not mainstream medicine, and the medical community in general has nothing to offer us. Anyways, we were given a generous donation so that we would be able to actually talk to this woman all the way across the world who might help us.
We also have been approached by two different folks who would like to help us fundraise to come up with the money we need to continue helping Charlotte. I will add more details soon in another post, but stay tuned for a way you may be able to help, in addition to your prayers which we covet. If you live locally, please consider helping us by donating items you don't need, or crafty items you've made to a yard/craft sale, or baking something for our bake sale next month. I am humbled to receive these kinds of generous offers of practical ways folks can help us. The strain of trying to figure out how to afford everything is a considerable stress for us, and we simply don't have it. So we are incredibly thankful when God provides in creative ways through loving folks around us.
Okay, so tonight was the big night where we got to Skype with a doctor in Australia. In addition to enjoying her wonderful accent, we really felt good about talking with her. She told us in the beginning that she expects nothing less than a 100% recovery from Charlotte and she hopes soon this challenging time will all be a "deep dark memory." That alone was comforting to hear. When we spoke with a specialist in Boston we were told Charlotte's cases was one of the hardest types to heal, and it would be a very long and painful process the entire time. Talk about bleak. It was really depressing. With Sally Gray, this doctor from Australia, I felt a refreshing hope.
Sally talked about the different approaches to healing a child like Charlotte- the Boston doc's way being one- where you push and push and push, throw healing things at it, and eventually the body will respond and heal appropriately. Sally says this may work, but it'll be painstaking and uncomfortable for her and us. She does not think this is the best way to heal Charlotte. Her body is too fragile and sensitive for this.
What she does think is the best way, is finding a balance with Charlotte. Her body is reacting and responding and we need to listen. Pushing will only cause her body to be in a state of fighting, instead of where it needs to be, in a state of healing. Our immediate focus will be to bring Charlotte back to baseline- to the most limited foods and most healing ways of cooking them, until she is back to herself again. We need to focus on increasing her consumption of meat stock and go back to boiling her meats in stock for now, sticking with foods we know are safe. Eliminating anything else from her diet or environment that may be hindering this (most notably the probiotic she's been struggling with).
Once we are back to happy, contented Charlotte for a week or so, we will focus on trying to increase healing foods. She encouraged us to keep an open mind and not to consider only GAPS recommended foods. She says for kids like Charlotte, there is not a one size fits all approach, and right now we need to focus on nourishing and balancing her. We need to let Charlotte be our guide here. This will take time, and we need to go as slowly as she needs us to.
She really senses that Charlotte may indeed have an eosinophilic gastrointestinal disorder, and in that case GAPS may not fully work when you follow it as the protocol suggests. She says we may need to look outside that framework to find ways to heal her that will be less invasive (i.e. healing transdermally as opposed to continually trying to heal through foods which her body keeps rejecting). It's not that this approach will not work, but it makes it more complicated, and she says we should keep an open mind.
We spoke about how to ensure Charlotte is getting the nutrients she needs on such a limited diet, especially as I wean her, (we have worked down to nursing only twice daily) and she is going to send us some recommendations. One idea was to give her some Elecare (an elemental formula) but she said that was not necessary. We need to make sure she's getting the minerals, fats, and amino acids, and much of this is actually delivered to her through the meat stock, in the best form her body can recognize and break down. So, I'm not sure we need to worry all that much, because she said this period of limited foods is a transient time, and if she's healing now, soon she will be able and ready to take in more nutrients from a bigger variety of foods. This set my mind at ease a bit.
She will also email us information about other minerals and good things we can use on Charlotte's skin to get nutrients in. Where her body attacks so much when ingested, we may need to pursue getting good stuff into her a different way. Like the magnesium oil supplement we spray on her feet every night, other things are absorbed well through the skin. Yogurt and probiotics applied over her diaper area will find their way up into her digestive track. Our body is made up of so many microbes- she said there are 10 times as many microbes in and on us, as there are cells to our bodies! So we will consider other ways to support her body in getting more weapons in her arsenal of good probiotics to fight against the bad microbes in her gut.
We talked about doing some testing with the microbiome project to find out a better picture of what is going on internally, but this may or may not be helpful, for the cost. In any case, we would still need to proceed the same, slow and steady.
There is even a new therapy that is gaining in recognition- forgive the terrible picture which will come to mind- but it's taking healthy gut flora (within poop!) from a healthy donor and transplanting it into the bowels of a child like Charlotte. I have not done research about this but apparently it can drastically and more quickly improve the state of the gut. Shudder. This just plain grosses me out! But we'll read up on it!
Sally will be able to help us proceed from here. She is going to send me a detailed report and recommendations which should help us and we can contact her whenever we need via email or Skype. I was so thankful for the opportunity to talk to her and hear that Charlotte is on the right track, and we WILL work through this. Just knowing how to focus and knowing I should not push through symptoms takes so much guess work (and stress) away from me. And will make this a more comfortable journey for Charlotte. Poor little kiddo. She has been through so much already. I hate thinking how terrible she must be feeling; I don't even really know since she can't explain it yet. What a trooper.
I know I've rambled a bit, but it's 1:30 in the morning so I think I'm entitled! So, that's where we're at, in a messy little nutshell, and as always, we appreciate the prayers and encouragement more than you know. God is setting Charlotte up for a great testimony. I cannot wait to see how He will heal her and work in her life, and ours, as we go through this. We have much to be thankful for, things could be a lot worse, and we know nothing that happens to us has not been filtered through the loving hands of our heavenly Father. He will work all of this out for His glory and our good! Sending love and thanks to you all!
Since my last post, things really seemed to spiral out of control with Charlotte. We were backtracking, we were miserable, and in general, everything was a mess. It's been a messy, stressful month.
On the homefront, CJ is doing well at his job and settling in. After house hunting all summer and waiting on financial matters with a few banks, we were in a holding pattern and nothing was working out in the right timing. We looked at an apartment in Alfred (where I grew up, about 20 minutes from CJ's job) on Saturday. We were told there were 7 other families who looked at it that day, and we would hear an answer over the weekend. Well, we didn't hear anything, so we got to thinking they probably wouldn't offer it to a family with kids if they had a choice. But we knew if it was supposed to be the place for us that God would work it out. Monday morning at 7am I got an email offering the apartment to us. So, while home ownership was what we had our hopes set on, we know God's timing and provision is best. This will allow us to move out of CJ's parents' house soon (Oct 1), which needed to happen. It will also give us time to get settled and grant more time for God to show us where He wants us long term on HIS timeline. And one more major thing finally planned out. So, we are thankful for a clean, safe place, and look forward to making it a home. God gives us what we need, always.
Back to Charlotte, in the midst of trying to secure housing, and CJ getting into his new routine at school, Charlotte was just feeling lousy. She seemed to be reacting to everything, regressing on the diet, and I didn't really know why or how to support her or help her move forward. We had many many HARD days with her crying on my hip- long days after long sleepless nights, cranky, irritable, irrational, not fun. I knew we needed to get some professional help to help me know where to focus and what to do next.
I got some recommendations from the folks in the Facebook support group I'm part of, for some specialists who work long distance. I spoke/emailed with a few and decided to get help from a doctor in Australia who specializes working with babies and kids with severe digestive disorders and healing them through nutrition.
Let me say, for the thousandth time, God is faithful. We do not have two cents to rub together right now, let alone more money to sink into this extremely expensive diet, supplements, or even the money to talk to a doctor. Many people have asked me, and no, insurance does not cover anything we are doing. It is not mainstream medicine, and the medical community in general has nothing to offer us. Anyways, we were given a generous donation so that we would be able to actually talk to this woman all the way across the world who might help us.
We also have been approached by two different folks who would like to help us fundraise to come up with the money we need to continue helping Charlotte. I will add more details soon in another post, but stay tuned for a way you may be able to help, in addition to your prayers which we covet. If you live locally, please consider helping us by donating items you don't need, or crafty items you've made to a yard/craft sale, or baking something for our bake sale next month. I am humbled to receive these kinds of generous offers of practical ways folks can help us. The strain of trying to figure out how to afford everything is a considerable stress for us, and we simply don't have it. So we are incredibly thankful when God provides in creative ways through loving folks around us.
Okay, so tonight was the big night where we got to Skype with a doctor in Australia. In addition to enjoying her wonderful accent, we really felt good about talking with her. She told us in the beginning that she expects nothing less than a 100% recovery from Charlotte and she hopes soon this challenging time will all be a "deep dark memory." That alone was comforting to hear. When we spoke with a specialist in Boston we were told Charlotte's cases was one of the hardest types to heal, and it would be a very long and painful process the entire time. Talk about bleak. It was really depressing. With Sally Gray, this doctor from Australia, I felt a refreshing hope.
Sally talked about the different approaches to healing a child like Charlotte- the Boston doc's way being one- where you push and push and push, throw healing things at it, and eventually the body will respond and heal appropriately. Sally says this may work, but it'll be painstaking and uncomfortable for her and us. She does not think this is the best way to heal Charlotte. Her body is too fragile and sensitive for this.
What she does think is the best way, is finding a balance with Charlotte. Her body is reacting and responding and we need to listen. Pushing will only cause her body to be in a state of fighting, instead of where it needs to be, in a state of healing. Our immediate focus will be to bring Charlotte back to baseline- to the most limited foods and most healing ways of cooking them, until she is back to herself again. We need to focus on increasing her consumption of meat stock and go back to boiling her meats in stock for now, sticking with foods we know are safe. Eliminating anything else from her diet or environment that may be hindering this (most notably the probiotic she's been struggling with).
Once we are back to happy, contented Charlotte for a week or so, we will focus on trying to increase healing foods. She encouraged us to keep an open mind and not to consider only GAPS recommended foods. She says for kids like Charlotte, there is not a one size fits all approach, and right now we need to focus on nourishing and balancing her. We need to let Charlotte be our guide here. This will take time, and we need to go as slowly as she needs us to.
She really senses that Charlotte may indeed have an eosinophilic gastrointestinal disorder, and in that case GAPS may not fully work when you follow it as the protocol suggests. She says we may need to look outside that framework to find ways to heal her that will be less invasive (i.e. healing transdermally as opposed to continually trying to heal through foods which her body keeps rejecting). It's not that this approach will not work, but it makes it more complicated, and she says we should keep an open mind.
We spoke about how to ensure Charlotte is getting the nutrients she needs on such a limited diet, especially as I wean her, (we have worked down to nursing only twice daily) and she is going to send us some recommendations. One idea was to give her some Elecare (an elemental formula) but she said that was not necessary. We need to make sure she's getting the minerals, fats, and amino acids, and much of this is actually delivered to her through the meat stock, in the best form her body can recognize and break down. So, I'm not sure we need to worry all that much, because she said this period of limited foods is a transient time, and if she's healing now, soon she will be able and ready to take in more nutrients from a bigger variety of foods. This set my mind at ease a bit.
She will also email us information about other minerals and good things we can use on Charlotte's skin to get nutrients in. Where her body attacks so much when ingested, we may need to pursue getting good stuff into her a different way. Like the magnesium oil supplement we spray on her feet every night, other things are absorbed well through the skin. Yogurt and probiotics applied over her diaper area will find their way up into her digestive track. Our body is made up of so many microbes- she said there are 10 times as many microbes in and on us, as there are cells to our bodies! So we will consider other ways to support her body in getting more weapons in her arsenal of good probiotics to fight against the bad microbes in her gut.
We talked about doing some testing with the microbiome project to find out a better picture of what is going on internally, but this may or may not be helpful, for the cost. In any case, we would still need to proceed the same, slow and steady.
There is even a new therapy that is gaining in recognition- forgive the terrible picture which will come to mind- but it's taking healthy gut flora (within poop!) from a healthy donor and transplanting it into the bowels of a child like Charlotte. I have not done research about this but apparently it can drastically and more quickly improve the state of the gut. Shudder. This just plain grosses me out! But we'll read up on it!
Sally will be able to help us proceed from here. She is going to send me a detailed report and recommendations which should help us and we can contact her whenever we need via email or Skype. I was so thankful for the opportunity to talk to her and hear that Charlotte is on the right track, and we WILL work through this. Just knowing how to focus and knowing I should not push through symptoms takes so much guess work (and stress) away from me. And will make this a more comfortable journey for Charlotte. Poor little kiddo. She has been through so much already. I hate thinking how terrible she must be feeling; I don't even really know since she can't explain it yet. What a trooper.
I know I've rambled a bit, but it's 1:30 in the morning so I think I'm entitled! So, that's where we're at, in a messy little nutshell, and as always, we appreciate the prayers and encouragement more than you know. God is setting Charlotte up for a great testimony. I cannot wait to see how He will heal her and work in her life, and ours, as we go through this. We have much to be thankful for, things could be a lot worse, and we know nothing that happens to us has not been filtered through the loving hands of our heavenly Father. He will work all of this out for His glory and our good! Sending love and thanks to you all!
Friday, August 29, 2014
SIX months update!
Has it been that long? Holy moly! Time for another update!
Charley Beth is almost 2! She is a feisty, loveable, squeezable girl who loves life and can't go anywhere without a little wiggle and a smile. As I type, she is swaddling her baby dolls and carrying them around, pausing now and then to rock and kiss them. She loves grooving to music, playing outside, cows, Pooh Bear, books, colored pencils, ABCs, and all of her favorite people. She talks in complete sentences, can count to 12, knows all her ABCs and the letter sounds, sings songs, prays at the dinner table, and loves the color purple best. I am daily amazed that I get to be her mum. She is an absolute joy, and I'm humbled God chose someone like me to care for her (and Parky!).
GAPS-wise, Charlotte has been making some progress, but the past week or two we've been backtracking. She is suddenly having terrible reactions to egg yolks, so we had to remove them from her diet for now. We had added in some veggies, but had to take some out after a bit of detective work. She still seems to not be feeling her best, but it's often hard to get to the bottom of what is bothering her. She will often tell me, "Belly sick," or "Chah-Chah hurt." Of course, this breaks my heart. Distraction will often help, but mainly she gets "too grumpy" or "too sad" (her words) when she is not feeling well. Her mood is markedly different, she doesn't sleep well, eat well, is clingy and fussy, and has skin rashes. She has been chewed alive by mosquitoes this summer (often in no more time than it takes to walk to the car), and the bites swell and look terrible. She's also helped herself to some things she shouldn't have- for example, a blackberry, which she picked and ate while I wasn't looking- wreaked havoc for a solid week. I am still amazed at how incredibly sensitive her body is. No doubt these extra stressors on her body inhibit healing to some degree. Plus add in all the normal developmental issues of a tiny person, and you can easily drive yourself crazy trying to heal, protect, and care for it all.
Her diet now consists of:
-Pasture-raised, grass-fed, organic beef, turkey, lamb, pork, and venison (generally we only have access to beef and occasionally turkey or pork)
-1/2 capsule therapeutic-strength probiotic
-2 drops sauerkraut juice
-1/2 capsule digestive enzyme
-Rutabaga (which she now refuses in any form)
-Leeks (she will only eat chopped finely and mixed into meatballs)
-Celery (she will only eat boiled into her broths)
-Green beans (Yay! SO enjoyed giving her some from our garden!)
-Cabbage (also refuses, so I boil it in her broth)
-Once in awhile she has raw honey in a bit of fresh-grated ginger or chamomile tea
-Bone broths
-Breast milk (yes, I'm still following the GAPS diet too)
As you can see, getting her to actually eat some of this stuff is a challenge (and who can blame her? I'd be sick of the same things all the time too, and who wants to munch on a rutabaga when they're hungry?!) We continue to aim for daily detox baths and I spray magnesium oil on our feet to aid in detox. We got a homeopathic medicine to try with her, but I'm waiting till she is back at baseline to do so. It is supposed to speed up the healing process with people with leaky gut. We'll see!
Parker is still following the Full GAPS diet and we've seen a great overall improvement in his attitude and behavior. He loves helping me make juice and slurping it up till his face is orange with carrots. The only thing he is not eating that is technically "gapsy" is 100% sprouted bread. Since this gets processed by the body as a vegetable, I'm not too worried about it right now.
I should have a brag paragraph about my big guy too. Parker is, as he says, "almost five." (Not really, his birthday isn't till April!) He is constantly building things, whether constructing street sweepers, a coal mine, a fire station out of Tyco blocks, making elaborate train tracks, or working on crafts. He is definitely one creative and smart kid! His little mind is always going a mile a minute (and so is his mouth!) He still loves snuggles, fire trucks, playing with my hair, and eating gobs and gobs of peanut butter. We have been reading chapter books this summer. Right now we're in the middle of the Great Illustrated Classics, Swiss Family Robinson. He knows what he wants, he's very persistent, and he's smart as a whip. I'm sure these traits will serve him very well in the future (sometimes, though, they tax my tired little brain and exhaust my energy! But, alas, that is what boys are supposed to do)!
The most exciting news I can share is that God is faithful! Last week CJ and I went out for our 7th anniversary and he got a phone call while we were on our [very appreciated and gloriously quiet!] date. Biddeford High School wanted to hire him as a guidance counselor! He started the next day! We were both incredibly thankful because this means we'll be able to stay in the area, close to both of our families. It may have taken all summer, dozens of applications, many rejections, tons of prayer warriors, and a bit of frazzled hope and faith, but God delivered! CJ has been training all week and the students will begin next Tuesday. I'm sure he's going to do just fine, despite having a lot to learn all at once.
CJ has also been busy trying to get started in the Marine Corps Reserves, working through Chicope, MA. He did some drill time last month and hopes to be able to do the "one weekend a month, two weeks a year" thing. He may need to take a professional military course, which he has applied for. He is always working to try and figure out how he can best serve our family. Thankful for my amazing husband who is always supportive of me and our "nutball kids!" (as he likes to say).
We've had a wonderful summer visiting people we love, taking the kids to fairs, the lake, and more. I can hardly believe another season is coming to a close, but fall has always been a time of excitement for me. New beginnings, and changes, both of which we'll have plenty of this fall. :)
Speaking of finances/needs, remember how I mentioned looking for a big freezer? My mom was out driving one day and passed a freezer with a sign that said, "Free!" God is good! My grandmother and my mom are constantly looking for stuff for us and loading us up with bargains she finds- cast iron skillets, etc! Our "Gut Garden" has provided a stready supply of healthy veggies. We've been able to pick and freeze wild berries. We've had a supply of fresh eggs all summer, delivered to us every week. CJ has been able to borrow his grandfather's car lately so I'm not stranded without a vehicle. We have a roof over our heads and very gracious in-laws! We've been given lovely hand-me-down clothes for the kids. My brother's given us venison. So many ways we've been blessed- no matter how small we know God's hand is in it, and we know He's taking care of us through the loving and generous people he's put in our lives. Every day is a new testimony of God's faithfulness. It is so important for me to remember that and focus on these blessings, rather than being overwhelmed.
Thanks for continuing to lift us up, with prayers, encouragement, and just by trying to understand our journey. :) Sending love and little hugs.
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| Sweet Charley Beth! |
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| Spunky and Sweet |
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| Thank you for praying for me! |
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| Sometimes we can get her bacon, and it's her FAVORITE! |
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| Notice the bug bites! Poor kid! |
-Pasture-raised, grass-fed, organic beef, turkey, lamb, pork, and venison (generally we only have access to beef and occasionally turkey or pork)
-1/2 capsule therapeutic-strength probiotic
-2 drops sauerkraut juice
-1/2 capsule digestive enzyme
-Rutabaga (which she now refuses in any form)
-Leeks (she will only eat chopped finely and mixed into meatballs)
-Celery (she will only eat boiled into her broths)
-Green beans (Yay! SO enjoyed giving her some from our garden!)
-Cabbage (also refuses, so I boil it in her broth)
-Once in awhile she has raw honey in a bit of fresh-grated ginger or chamomile tea
-Bone broths
-Breast milk (yes, I'm still following the GAPS diet too)
As you can see, getting her to actually eat some of this stuff is a challenge (and who can blame her? I'd be sick of the same things all the time too, and who wants to munch on a rutabaga when they're hungry?!) We continue to aim for daily detox baths and I spray magnesium oil on our feet to aid in detox. We got a homeopathic medicine to try with her, but I'm waiting till she is back at baseline to do so. It is supposed to speed up the healing process with people with leaky gut. We'll see!
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| So ghetto! They are sawing a frozen turkey into quarters for me so I can cook less at a time and spread out the meals! Good thing Lysle is ingenious! |
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| Snacking on some bacon while admiring the piglets! Hmm! |
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| This was before we implemented the diet with Parker. He is enjoying a s'more at the lake. What do you give a child who cannot eat it? A really really big hunk of meat! Voila! Two happy kids eating their "treats!" |
Parker is still following the Full GAPS diet and we've seen a great overall improvement in his attitude and behavior. He loves helping me make juice and slurping it up till his face is orange with carrots. The only thing he is not eating that is technically "gapsy" is 100% sprouted bread. Since this gets processed by the body as a vegetable, I'm not too worried about it right now.
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| Parker's juice beard! |
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| Parky Snuggles! |
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| My happy beach boy |
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| Guilty face- sneaking a spoonful of peanut butter from the jar! |
The most exciting news I can share is that God is faithful! Last week CJ and I went out for our 7th anniversary and he got a phone call while we were on our [very appreciated and gloriously quiet!] date. Biddeford High School wanted to hire him as a guidance counselor! He started the next day! We were both incredibly thankful because this means we'll be able to stay in the area, close to both of our families. It may have taken all summer, dozens of applications, many rejections, tons of prayer warriors, and a bit of frazzled hope and faith, but God delivered! CJ has been training all week and the students will begin next Tuesday. I'm sure he's going to do just fine, despite having a lot to learn all at once.
 |
| My handsome date on our 7th Anniversary Date! |
CJ has also been busy trying to get started in the Marine Corps Reserves, working through Chicope, MA. He did some drill time last month and hopes to be able to do the "one weekend a month, two weeks a year" thing. He may need to take a professional military course, which he has applied for. He is always working to try and figure out how he can best serve our family. Thankful for my amazing husband who is always supportive of me and our "nutball kids!" (as he likes to say).
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| CJ at Maine's Run for the Fallen |
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| Kayak adventure! |
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| Parker on a tractor at the fair |
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| Charlotte on a tractor at the fair |
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| The kiddos and I enjoying an afternoon at the lake |
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| First kayaking trip as a family- 20 minute journey turned into 3 hours! Very fun time up north with my brother, brother-in-law, and nieces. Kids did great! We are still hogging CJ's parents' house and excitedly/nervously/stressfully searching for our own place to live. We're not sure if we can buy a house with so much student debt and not a huge income, but we know that just like everything else, we have to trust that God will give us wisdom and help us find the right place for our family. And of course, be able to afford it! Prayers welcome here!! |
Speaking of finances/needs, remember how I mentioned looking for a big freezer? My mom was out driving one day and passed a freezer with a sign that said, "Free!" God is good! My grandmother and my mom are constantly looking for stuff for us and loading us up with bargains she finds- cast iron skillets, etc! Our "Gut Garden" has provided a stready supply of healthy veggies. We've been able to pick and freeze wild berries. We've had a supply of fresh eggs all summer, delivered to us every week. CJ has been able to borrow his grandfather's car lately so I'm not stranded without a vehicle. We have a roof over our heads and very gracious in-laws! We've been given lovely hand-me-down clothes for the kids. My brother's given us venison. So many ways we've been blessed- no matter how small we know God's hand is in it, and we know He's taking care of us through the loving and generous people he's put in our lives. Every day is a new testimony of God's faithfulness. It is so important for me to remember that and focus on these blessings, rather than being overwhelmed.
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| Devouring some of Uncle Kevin's "DEER MEAT! More deer meat pweese!" |
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| Picking wild blueberries (my favorite!) with my brother and nieces. Think my scowly boy needs a bath??! |
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| The "Gut Garden" Bounty! |
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| Admiring the purple cauliflower! |
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