Parker Starts "Intro"

I am writing to ask for prayers and wisdom for us as we try to help Parker. He started the Intro diet about 10 days ago. This means he is starting at the basics just like Charlotte- broths, meats, veggies. You gradually add in things over time.

Our reasoning behind doing something this drastic with him is that push came to shove. For those of you who know him, you know that Parker is an incredibly smart, creative, and loving child. But he is also close-minded when it comes to trying new things; he knows what he wants and there is little flexibility for other options. I don't want to say bad things about him, because there isn't anyone besides the good Lord and CJ who love him like I do... but I will say he is an incredibly challenging and demanding child.

We have struggled immensely with behavior and attitude issues. It is hard to determine what is "typical" 4 year-old boy behavior, what is willful sin, what is beyond his control, and what is a result of our circumstances. We've seen what a drastic benefit in cutting out sugars and grains- I really suspect diet may be playing a role in this.

To say things have been stressful is about the understatement of the year. I have never been this stressed. Trying to manage Charlotte's diet and symptoms, being pregnant and sick, and dealing with Parker's ups and downs, has been all-consuming. I  need to do something to work towards more peace in our household. And if GAPS is the way to do that, I have nothing else to lose (okay, maybe just my sanity)!

And maybe GAPS is not the answer. But at least we will be able to figure that out. At the least it can only help since it's a diet of nourishing, clean foods, albeit limiting in the beginning. Plus, GAPS is supposed to help heal allergies, such as Parker's egg and dairy sensitivities. Maybe he will grow so that he's actually on the growth charts!

The beginning of the diet is so intense because it "starves" your body for all the foods it's used to getting- for Parker the things we omitted were starches and sugars found in bananas and sprouted grain bread, and the harder-to-digest nut butters. This means your body can go through a stage of "detox." This sounds wacky, but it's real (I've experienced it and it's not fun at all). Anything good that you add into your body goes to battle against the "bad guys" of the gut. As the bad guys die off, you get uncomfortable symptoms. For Parker this has included some intense vomiting, lethargy, wetting the bed at night, and erratic behavior. The body is trying to flush the toxins out any way it can. It's hard to feel good about doing the diet when you see your child like this.

We have been reassured it's all a normal part of the process, and is a sign that healing is taking place. However, we've been told to buckle up our seat-belts, because it can be a very shaky ride for the first month or more. The rule is that things get worse (sometimes much worse) before they get better. But there is the hope that they will get better.

We plan on seeking help because already we are already overwhelmed and are not sure quite how to best help Parker. Before we started the diet he was constantly scratching at his face and his cheeks were red and rashy. (Another clue that something he's been eating may be triggering behaviors or unrest in his body.)

A few days ago I was eating an orange and Parker was curious. He wanted to smell it. Then lick it. I asked him if he wanted to taste it. Even though he didn't, he agreed to let me juice it and he willingly drank the juice. Since then he's actually EATEN some oranges. This is a MAJOR deal. He is never, ever, interested in trying new foods. For him not to freak out about the texture and to be asking for more really impressed us. Going through the Intro diet is supposed to help "reboot" the taste buds, causing the kids to be more accepting of new tastes. This seemed like a great sign to us- even though oranges are a very advanced food and not technically allowed on the beginning of the diet, we rejoiced in the victory, rather than worrying about proceeding through the diet perfectly.

But then Parker woke up again vomiting today. He was moving his tongue around weirdly in his mouth and said it was scratchy. His cheeks were blotchy and pink. I gave him some Benadryl, worrying that he was having an allergic reaction.

Since this didn't happen the first time few times he ate oranges, I'm not sure if he has a real allergy to oranges. It seems more like this is a histamine intolerance. We deal with this to some degree with Charlotte. When you consume a lot of high histamine foods (to include oranges), your "bucket" fills up. When it's full, you get symptoms. A histamine issue is a big deal on GAPS. It means a lot more work and a lot longer generally for healing. I am groaning over here. A histamine issue is a monster.

We really need to consult some experts to figure out how to proceed. We have been asking for recommendations on the facebook group for a practitioner who specializes in working with kids like Parker. Hopefully we will find one soon and be able to speak with them. We also want to have some allergy testing and bloodwork done to determine if his vitamin/mineral levels are healthy, etc. We need to establish some sort of baseline and get some professionals on board to help us.

I hesitated about sharing all this because it's really hard to explain. I feel like people who know and love Parker either think he's A) normal, and his parents make mountains out of molehills B) a bit high strung but surely he'll grow out of it C) he's plain naughty, and this must be the result of some parenting flaw D) he's out of control E) what are you talking about? This child is brilliant.

It's hard to explain the weight of the stress level we have right now. What do you do all day? Why don't you call me back? How come you never come visit?

My days lately consist of bouncing from one tantrum to the next meltdown, spending hours in the kitchen trying to make healthy foods which my children reject, cry, whine, complain over, and eventually take 2.5 hours to eat. Planning to leave the house means cooking and packing enough food for them both. When we do leave the house, we often have to leave where we've gone due to some sort of meltdown. This is embarrassing and exhausting. They spend lots of time in detox baths to calm them down. In between I do the normal chores and enjoy the "ups" of the day- reading lots of books, doing crafts, playing, and trying to spend as much time doing positive things with the kids and enjoying the giggles and games.

When I'm through with all this, I'm exhausted. There isn't much left for anyone or anything else. It is physically and emotionally draining. I feel guilty about this, but I know my energies right now need to be focused on the health and healing of our family. But it's hard to explain this. It's easier to shrug it off and pretend it's not that big a deal. But really, it is. I think it's important for me to be honest about it so that it might help some to understand. After all, isn't this the point of our blog?

I really wonder sometimes why we struggle with such basic things as food, when I see kids around me slurping up sugary drinks laced with red-40 and eating mac & cheese. We simply aren't like that. For some reason, my children cannot do that. I've been forced to read and research, and to a certain extent, turn into a hippie health freak for the sake of our family's health. Maybe sometimes I take things too far. But it's hard to be laid back when you have the responsibility of knowing the facts. So just a request- if you aren't walking in our shoes, please try not to judge us as total wackos, and try to understand we're just trying to help our kids.

This totally depresses me that our life is so "heavy" right now. I yearn for peace, lightness, and the joy that seems to be zapped so often lately. I hope this post doesn't depress you, too! We need to get to a better place. How I love to be positive and let things go, laugh off the stressful times, and all that good stuff. But sometimes life is really HARD. But after the valleys and uphill climb there is always the refreshing and rejuvenating view of the mountaintop, right?

Above all, we need God to intervene. We desperately need His wisdom and guidance. We need the patience He gives, and the grace when we fail. I can't be responsible for "fixing" these kids or all our problems. It's way too much pressure and it's impossible. So I ask you to join me in petitioning God to do the work we cannot do. As always, we thank you for listening and loving us through this.