Skin Looking Good

It's been a week since we cut chicken and all of the other allergenic foods out of our diet and I'm very happy to report good news- her eczema is virtually gone, along with her diaper rash, and her skin is almost 100% clear! I hope this means we're on the right track! It's encouraging, anyhow! If she continues to do well perhaps we can try something new soon. She has also been really good this week about drinking more broth. She has asked for it a number of times and will hold the bowl and drink it herself, or will ask for a straw. :) Thank you for your prayers!

Some Thoughts

I made CJ and some guests some chocolate chip cookies the other day and ever since I have an unsatisfied craving for cookies. I think that should count as some form of cruel and unusual punishment! Most anyone who knows me knows that I have a sweet tooth. Before GAPS, I would NEVER, EVER have thought of giving up my delicious homemade bread. Chocolate surely deserved its own place in the food pyramid. Pouring a bowl of cereal in the morning was thoughtless routine. Baking cookies in the kitchen with Parker was a favorite activity.

GAPS has been challenging for me because I have had to give up pretty much every food vice. Even Charlotte's latest allergies have cut out my last "comfort foods." (Frozen banana with peanut butter or walnuts and dates). GAPS has been interesting because it has forced me to rethink how I eat. It is indeed a lifestyle change.

I dare you to name a social event where food is not involved. We are accustomed to eating only what we like, avoiding what we don't like, eating when we feel like it, because we deserve it, because it tastes good, what is easy and convenient, when we are with other people, at all and every occasion, and to go along with every mood. I always felt badly for the people in the Bible who lived on manna for so long. How tedious. How boring. Yes, God met their need, but... There is so much joy to be had in eating and cooking.

The only reason I am able to do GAPS is because I realize it's not about me. Like most mothers, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help my child be healthy. And because God is showing me that manna IS enough. Food is meant to nourish and sustain. It is not meant to fulfill all those other purposes. I have healthy foods, and I will eat them instead of focusing on what I'd rather have instead. And I'll be thankful. And I won't be a baby. And I won't feel sorry for myself. And hopefully through this Charlotte will heal and will someday have the freedom to choose what she wants to eat.

This is teaching me about saying no to myself and what I want. I had pretty much zero self-control when it came to eating before. Now those cookies on the table tempt me, but not enough to eat. One selfish act like that could (I have no idea how much, but the potential is there) set Charlotte back a lot. We've worked too hard to do something dumb like that. In that light, it's easy to say no. (Well, not really, but I'm able to say no, which shows a lot more willpower than I had before!) And learning to deny self is a good life lesson for anyone.

I'm glad I've been forced to investigate what we eat. The things I've learned are pretty mind-boggling. I will do my best to teach our kids how to eat clean, wholesome foods. When you can't take shortcuts, and there are little conveniences, it makes one more appreciative of the work that goes into putting food on the table. We are learning that life doesn't have to revolve around food. We can have fun without a cupcake. We can watch a movie without popcorn. We don't have to drown our sorrows in a cardboard tub of ice cream.

I hope it'll all be worth it- from gagging down fermented cod liver oil to singing the Winnie the Pooh theme song for the 100th time trying to coax Charlotte into drink her broth... I hope it's all worth it. I hope we start seeing some great gains soon to encourage us along the way. Your prayers certainly help us not to feel so alone. I'm glad we have folks who love us and pray for us and not just think we're loons because we're on that "weird" diet! Thank you for trying to understand and help us through this.

Okay, just a little aside I have been thinking about!

In other news, Charlotte licked the bubble wand two days in a row, thus we are now dealing with diaper rashes and upset tummy! See, sometimes you just can't control everything! In the future, we'll be careful not to let her get ahold of these. Even when she can't hold the wand she tries to pop the bubbles with her hands and then she will lick them... Poor, deprived child!

Yesterday I made homemade wipes, Desitin-like diaper cream (good thing I did! We needed it! And now I know it works!), and whipped body butter. Parker is in love with the body butter because he loves the smell of the cocoa butter (it smells like chocolate)! I kept catching him licking his hands! I have many things on my "to make" list but all of this takes time! I think I ought to have a party to make some things together.

More Allergies

Today we had an appointment in Waterville with our naturopath/homeopath/nutritionist/nurse practitioner (she wears many hats). We brought both kids and they honestly couldn't have acted much worse. It's been a couple of days of them being utterly horrible, and our patience is just about non-existant. At what age can we send them to summer camp? Insert exhausted frazzled face here.

We have been going back and forth about doing testing for Charlotte. We were graciously given money to complete a few series of tests which may give us a more accurate picture of what is going on inside that little body. One of the tests we actually can't do until Charlotte is potty trained because we'd need to collect her urine for a certain time. Another test is a stool analysis which may tell us how well she is digesting foods, whether her yeast balance is off, how well she digests fats, what enzymes may be lacking, whether she has parasites or if she has a lot of bad bacteria in her gut. It sounds very helpful, but since she's not eating a "normal" diet right now, we're not sure how accurate this may be and we really want to use this money wisely. The idea of GAPS is that healing comes through food- so in theory, even if she does have issues that may show up on that test, GAPS should heal it in time. So, for now, we haven't done this test. Not sure if we will or if we'll put the money towards a side of beef or her supplements, etc. However, after today's blow, we might opt to do it just so we won't be spinning our wheels. If we do the test maybe we can help her heal faster, with less headache/work? Pray for wisdom, please!

Anyways, we chose to do one test so far, an allergy test. This tests different types of allergies in the body- not as quick of a response as typical anaphylactic allergies but more of a slow-response allergy, which can damage the body over time. We have had her tested previously for many typical allergic responses- and she has 15 IgE allergies. There were 17 different allergies showing up on this new test. The biggest surprise was that chicken was rated as a very high allergen for her. We both eat a lot of chicken and chicken broth. Also walnuts, bananas, salmon, cocoa, cashews, and many other things I eat on a regular basis which can pass to her through my milk.

So, this was both helpful and frustrating information. This could be the reason it seems that Charlotte's not been progressing well through the stages of GAPS. It also could be why she's had more sleepless nights and re-occuring eczema lately. It was helpful since now we know that we need to cut all of these foods out of our diets. Maybe then Charlotte will start healing. But unfortunately, this limits our diets even more.

Of course, this is making me wish even more I could just wean her. I'm struggling to not feel resentful and irritable nursing a 19 month-old. I know many other families breastfeed well through the toddler years, but this was something I hadn't planned on. I hope soon her diet will expand so I can wean her and have the peace of mind that she will be able to get the nutrients she needs on her own.

We've also been learning about histamine responses and sometimes that can be a problem. We need to stick to lower histamine foods for Charlotte- this is complicated, but for now, this means a lower simmer time when I make her broth- only 2.5- 3.5 hours, and freezing broth immediately, only to take out what she needs when she needs it. Leftovers can become a problem since the histamines increase the longer food is cooked, or it sits. So, yet more work is in order- the freezer is full of chicken broth we now cannot eat, and the beef broth may be too high in histamines in order for Charlotte to eat it.

We would ask that you just pray God will buffer us. I'm feeling overwhelmed lately with just trying to keep up with everything. It seems every day I learn about things which I ought to change, learn, or do. GAPS is a try it and wait and see approach, and honestly, I just want a quick fix. But that is not possible.  Strike that thought. With God, all things are possible. I need to trust that in HIS time, He WILL heal her. I need to do the best I can and take one day at a time. As always, we have much to be thankful for. We appreciate the prayers and love! THANK YOU!

Welcome!

Welcome!

As Charlotte says, "Hi!" Welcome to our new blog and thank you for committing to pray for Charlotte and us as we go through the GAPS diet. We know God hears our prayers and we hope He will intervene and heal Charlotte's belly. We hope this will be a valuable tool to help us post current updates and prayer requests so you can pray more specifically, and give thanks as well.

We are calling this the "Happy Bebe Belly Blog" since Charlotte always refers to herself as a "happy bebe." For whatever reason, this is the cross we've been given to bear right now, and believe me, we know it's light in comparison to Christ's and the crosses many other people must bear. This will help to remind me to keep the right attitude and perspective through this journey. We have a million reasons to be thankful, and therefore, happy.

How Did We Get Here? 

Charlotte's had a sensitive tummy since she was born, really. After a few days old she would have bouts of hard crying and typical "colic-y" symptoms. This really contrasted with her mellow, easygoing personality, so we wanted to figure out what was going on. A friend from church had suggested doing an elimination diet to see if the foods I ate were affecting her through my milk. After that, Charlotte was a completely different baby. She ate well, slept pretty well and was just a happy, delightful baby all around- as long as I cut things out of my diet. For the first five months I omitted: onions, garlic, spices, dairy, legumes, chocolate, caffeine, eggs, and lots of fruits and vegetables. My diet was pretty bland, but it was worth it.

At six months my friend mentioned that she had taken Beano supplements when she ate "problem foods" and it seemed to help her baby. I was so excited- this really seemed to work for us for the most part. I would pop a few Beanos and enjoy a little bit of chocolate. Perfect, right?

Starting solids (around 7 months) was when the complication really began. With Parker, we had started with things like squash, sweet potato, apples, and bananas. He developed a handful of allergies and we thought this go-round we'd follow the pediatrician's advice and start with bland old rice cereal. At first, this seemed to be fine. (Phew, we had a "normal" baby who loved eating!.... or so we thought...)

We tried adding in some applesauce and at first that seemed fine. After awhile, she was having reactions- bumps appearing around her mouth, diaper rash, hard crying bouts, etc. The doctor assumed it was the apples, so we yanked them from her diet. Still the symptoms persisted. We cut out rice and she was fine again.

So the dance went- we would add a food, she would react, we would backtrack, try something else. Poor Charlotte went through lots of allergy testing and tested positive for about 15 food allergies-- though we had about 35 other foods we also had to avoid-- we didn't test for everything, and even foods that she was not "allergic" to produced symptoms.

We kept a rigorous food log, an ever-watchful eye on her, and kept forging forward, trying to find the perfect list of her "safe" foods which we could stick to in order to avoid symptoms. The problem was, our list just kept getting smaller every week. She was down to less than 10 "safe" foods and we were getting scared that soon she would have nothing left to eat. She seemed to be reacting to everything.

The fact that I was nursing her further complicated things. I kept getting conflicting advice- keep nursing her, she needs it- wean her, you're making her worse. The guilt I was experiencing was overwhelming. I wanted to do what was best for her-- only I didn't really know what that was.

The symptoms I speak of included lots of rashes around her mouth, diaper rashes, blotchy red cheeks, big eczema patches on her elbows and sometimes on her legs, dry skin, diarrhea about 6 times a day, and the hardest part- nighttime crying. It was often 3 nights a week that she would wake in the middle of the night and cry.for.hours. She appeared in pain and nothing really helped- gas drops, Tylenol, Advil, Benadryl, teething medicine. I would rock her and let her watch Praise Baby DVDs (distraction was the best coping mechanism for her) or on really rough nights, we would just pace in the darkness, hour after hour, until she would finally pass out from exhaustion.

Nobody really seemed to think this was a big deal. Sleeplessness, diaper rashes, dry skin, eh- all par for the course with babies, right? A crazy hypochondriac mother reading into things too much? The pediatrician, allergist, and pediatric gastroenterologist all shook their heads and dismissed these concerns. Looking at her, one would never know anything was wrong. Charlotte was, and is, a very healthy-looking, chubby, smart baby, who has always met or exceeded her milestones. (I attribute this to nursing!) Because of these things, nobody seemed concerned and they thought she would just "grow out of this" and I should just "not worry" about it. This simply wasn't an option- she was NOT getting better- she was moving in the opposite direction. With the lack of sleep, my mamma-bear instincts, and literally having so little things to feed her (at that point she was eating chicken, turkey, beef, pork, sweet potato, potato, peas, apples, avocado) I knew we had to figure something out- quickly.

I finally asked for prayers on an online group of former Bible-study friends from Okinawa. Right away a few of them mentioned that I should look into the GAPS diet. I skimmed some sketchy-sounding web pages, reluctantly ordered the book, and didn't think much of it. When the book arrived, I doubtfully started reading- but then I couldn't put the book down. Finally something made sense- Charlotte was described on those pages!

We made an appointment with a GAPS-practitioner, a nutritionist about an hour away. Regardless of whether she has more medical problems going on (we won't know without more invasive testing), GAPS is the solution that should help get her on the path to healing. Without any other hopeful solutions, we started GAPS on a Sunday morning, after meeting with the nutritionist the previous day. Full steam ahead. We were going to give this our best shot.

The Theory is...

Charlotte has GAPS syndrome, more commonly called "leaky gut." Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride, a doctor in the UK has come up with this theory and treatment, and it's slowly becoming more known in the US. Basically, when Charlotte eats foods, they are not being broken down and digested properly. This creates inflammation, which creates literal holes in the lining of her intestines, amongst other problems. The foods she eats seep out through these holes. The body senses something amiss and sends the blood to attack- by creating antibodies against the food-invaders. (This makes sense as to why Charlotte was tolerating foods for awhile- sometimes a week, a month, many months- until her body created antibodies against it.) According to Dr. Natasha, she would have continued on like this until there was literally nothing safe left for her to eat.

The GAPS diet offers hope to heal and seal her gut, reversing allergies, allowing her to eat more foods, and thrive. Anything non-nutritious is cut out of the diet, and there are many rules-- and reasons behind those rules. There are two main parts to the GAPS diet- the "Intro" and "Full" GAPS. The "Intro" diet is the true healing part, and is what Charlotte is undertaking. You start slowly, and work your way up to the "Full" GAPS diet, testing each new food before introducing. I am continuing to nurse Charlotte, so I am following the "Full" GAPS diet, to ensure my milk has the right variety of nutrients, without anything harmful for her.

The chief components of GAPS include broth, broth, and more broth. Your grandmother or your mother may have made you chicken soup when you were sick- this truly is liquid gold- filled with healing, soothing, nutrition. Therapeutic strength Probiotics help repopulate the gut with good bacteria. In GAPS, the flora of the tummy is off balance- often full of bad bacterias, yeast overgrowth, parasites, etc. Fermented foods like sauerkraut also help to add good bacterias back in and stimulate proper digestive juices and breakdown of foods. Later things like Fermented cod liver oil and essential fatty acids, supplements, and enzymes are sometimes added too. GAPS is about detoxification (getting rid of the bad stuff which keeps our bodies functioning as they should and eliminating extra work of breaking down toxins). And of course, it's all about food!

Our culture thinks food is anything you can get at the grocery store. Our body thinks of food in a different way. Our body craves food in the whole, unprocessed, complete, nutritious form. The "Full" GAPS diet (what I eat) includes: meats, fish, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, pastured eggs, fermented foods (sauerkraut, homemade yogurt, kefir), honey, and lots of natural healthy fats from animals, ghee, butter, coconut oil and olive oil, natural sea salt. I cannot eat any grains, anything processed, sugar, anything with preservatives, additives, colorings, or chemicals.

This means absolutely everything is made from scratch, from the cleanest food possible. I can't always buy organic, but we try to get the best eggs, raw milk for yogurt, and meats we can afford, without any hormones, antibiotics, etc. (Especially since the toxins are stored in the fats which we must consume, and meat and broth is all Charlotte is eating right now.) This accounts to an astronomical grocery bill, lots of time spent cooking and cleaning, and lots of time researching, brainstorming, and watching her for symptoms.

Charlotte is going through the "Intro" diet, and we're 10 weeks in. So far the only things she is tolerating are broths and meats. We are giving her 1 drop of sauerkraut juice daily and a probiotic supplement. We have tried unsuccessfully to introduce vegetables, egg yolks, yogurt, etc. She simply is not ready for these foods, and more healing must take place before she is able to. I'm continuing to nurse her and we're doing the best we can, hoping and praying we're on the right track.

We're trying to cut down the extra work our bodies are dealing with- less toxins in mean our bodies can more successfully focus on healing and dealing with the toxins already in our bodies. Everything from commercial body products, cleaning products, plastics, etc. we are starting to take into account. I can't make all changes overnight, but slowly we are trying to make more educated choices that will reduce the toxic load on our bodies. Every day we try to give detox baths which consist of epsom salts, baking soda, or apple cider vinegar. Even the water we drink and bathe in affects us- right now we can't do a lot about the things like chlorinated water, but in the future, that will be a priority.

I jokingly say that every day we're moving farther away from "normal" American ways of life and more towards "hippy." Things we have always taken for granted as "safe" may not be. Heating food in the microwave, for example, is not recommended on GAPS (I must admit I sometimes break this rule- I'm trying!) Even the ways we have been taught to eat (avoiding natural fats, fearing cholesterol, etc) are worth a second glance. Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride has a book specifically about heart health, and since heart issues run in my family, I plan to read this soon. It's worth contemplating that we are the sickest nation by far, and what we eat directly affects us- mind and body. The GAPS diet has healed thousands of people with leaky gut, autism, Asperger's, schizophrenia, eating disorders, anaphylactic allergies, heart problems, etc. Healing through food? Not drugs? Real healing, not "management?" This is the hope I'm clinging to.

The tricky thing is that life is complicated. I can't control everything. If Charlotte finds one of Parker's stray Cheerios and eats it, we backtrack. If she eats dirt, we backtrack. If she's around someone who is sick, she always gets it, and then we backtrack. The rest of the days we are functioning at an even-keel. She doesn't seem to be getting worse, but she doesn't seem to be making any gains (hopefully she is healing beneath the surface?). Sometimes it's just hard to guess what she is reacting to, even with food logs and being careful. She may just be having an off-day, or teething, or simply being a baby. Trying to decipher everything from a baby who can't explain how she feels is like trying to read a foreign code.

Sometimes this gets me down- will she get better, is this worth it, are we crazy? This is exactly why we need this prayer support. It could take years for her to heal. (Typically 1.5- 3 years). I pray it won't. But I hope this will all be worth it (however long it takes) and that someday we'll be looking back on this time in our lives, thankful for having gone through it (ideally while watching Charlotte happily sinking her teeth into plenty of healthy foods)!

Stay Tuned!

I'll do my best to post updates on here as to how she is progressing, and I'll ask you to pray her through food trials, or for God to help us meet needs, etc. Then hopefully you'll be able to rejoice with us when she improves. Comment if you have questions, thoughts, or want to say hi. We appreciate you! Sending love and hugs from Charlotte!